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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #computers #ability #face
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Some
people
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 think that with the increasing
use
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 of mobile phones and computers,
people
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 lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is argued that the surge in phone and computer
use
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 is leading to a decline the
people
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’s abilities to communicate. In my opinion, the surge of modern technology devices cannot facilitate interpersonal communication. On the one hand, the opponents consider that the ability of interpersonal communication loss is
due to
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 the following reasons.
Firstly
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, the invention of Facetime can fully substitute the face-to-face conversations. Because of the improvement of technology, the technology devices enable
people
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 to distinguish subtle facial expressions.
Moreover
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,
emojis
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 can convey
emotions
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 that are hard to express through texting. Messages do not always capture accurate feelings,
therefore
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, the emergence of
emojis
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 can illustrate
emotions
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 vividly.
On the other hand
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, I believe that
Face Time
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FaceTime
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 and
emojis
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 do not capture an individual’s feelings. First of all, FaceTime cannot convey complete human
emotions
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. Hiding behind a screen means that only a fraction of body language is visible, which could lead to misunderstanding.
Secondly
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, the
use
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 of
emojis
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 as substitutes for genuine feelings is limited. In many circumstances,
people
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 will
use
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emojis
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 to decline conflicts to be polite or avoid
embarrassed
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embarrassment
show examples
.
Therefore
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, the
emojis
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 cannot convey a genuine feeling. In conclusion, I believe that the surge in phone and computer
use
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 can weaken interpersonal communication skills, as neither Facetime nor
emojis
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 can comprehensively convey human
emotions
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.
Submitted by cuggikem on

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task achievement
Be cautious with overly broad statements that may oversimplify the argument or the technology involved.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a more varied sentence structure to enhance readability and richness of expression.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both points of view, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You've made good use of specific examples to support your arguments, such as FaceTime and emojis, which helps anchor your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • interpersonal skills
  • overreliance
  • digital communication platforms
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • social bonds
  • enhance
  • bridging long distances
  • fostering connections
  • age groups
  • adept
  • integrating
  • landscape
  • emotional intelligence
  • nuances
  • striking a balance
  • limitations
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