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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #computers #ability #face
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Some
people
 think that with the increasing
use
 of mobile phones and computers,
people
 lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is argued that the surge in phone and computer
use
 is leading to a decline the
people
’s abilities to communicate. In my opinion, the surge of modern technology devices cannot facilitate interpersonal communication. On the one hand, the opponents consider that the ability of interpersonal communication loss is
due to
 the following reasons.
Firstly
, the invention of Facetime can fully substitute the face-to-face conversations. Because of the improvement of technology, the technology devices enable
people
 to distinguish subtle facial expressions.
Moreover
,
emojis
 can convey
emotions
 that are hard to express through texting. Messages do not always capture accurate feelings,
therefore
, the emergence of
emojis
 can illustrate
emotions
 vividly.
On the other hand
, I believe that
Face Time
Correct your spelling
FaceTime
show examples
 and
emojis
 do not capture an individual’s feelings. First of all, FaceTime cannot convey complete human
emotions
. Hiding behind a screen means that only a fraction of body language is visible, which could lead to misunderstanding.
Secondly
, the
use
 of
emojis
 as substitutes for genuine feelings is limited. In many circumstances,
people
 will
use
emojis
 to decline conflicts to be polite or avoid
embarrassed
Replace the word
embarrassment
show examples
.
Therefore
, the
emojis
 cannot convey a genuine feeling. In conclusion, I believe that the surge in phone and computer
use
 can weaken interpersonal communication skills, as neither Facetime nor
emojis
 can comprehensively convey human
emotions
.
Submitted by cuggikem on

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task achievement
Be cautious with overly broad statements that may oversimplify the argument or the technology involved.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a more varied sentence structure to enhance readability and richness of expression.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both points of view, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You've made good use of specific examples to support your arguments, such as FaceTime and emojis, which helps anchor your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • interpersonal skills
  • overreliance
  • digital communication platforms
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • social bonds
  • enhance
  • bridging long distances
  • fostering connections
  • age groups
  • adept
  • integrating
  • landscape
  • emotional intelligence
  • nuances
  • striking a balance
  • limitations
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