One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In
modern
era, Add an article
the modern
due to
the development of medical facilities, indinduals
are living much longer than before Correct your spelling
individuals
a
well Correct your spelling
as
as
life span has Correct word choice
apply
also
increased and this
is the consequence of improvement
in Add an article
the improvement
an improvement
medical
sector. If questioned, I think there are more drawbacks compared to benefits of Add an article
the medical
this
development. so, my position is further
explained in the upcoming paragraphs with valid examples and explanations.
Discussing the dark side of the viewpoint, the first and prominent argument is that, because people's life span is now increased the cycle of birth and death is now distrubed
. Correct your spelling
disturbed
For instance
, there are
fewer Wrong verb form
have been
death
in Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
the
recent years which has Correct article usage
apply
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
increase
in Correct article usage
an increase
population
. Further
, population
rate is skyrocketing in several countries. To give or example, Correct article usage
the population
according to
a survey on population
taker place in India, it is the fifth country in terms. of population
in 2015, but in 2023 India becomes the secand
largest populated nation.
→ Apart from these, Correct your spelling
second
rise
in folks is Correct article usage
the rise
directly
. proportional to Replace the adverb
direct
increase
in unemployment as well as
increase
in usage of resources like petrol, Add an article
an increase
the increase
diseal
and much more harmful gases. To elaborate, there is Correct your spelling
diesel
decrease
in job opportunities, as there are numerous individuals applying for the Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
some
job. Correct your spelling
same
For example
, if there is a job for employee
in Add an article
an employee
the employee
a
advertising company, Change the article
an
atleast
they will get more than 2000 applicants. Correct your spelling
at least
Moreover
, as people are living longer than expected, numerous folks have their own vehicles and due to
increasement
in the Correct your spelling
increment
amount
of vehicles, Change the quantifier
number
usage
of fuels Correct article usage
the usage
such
as petrol and diseal
Correct your spelling
diesel
are
is Unnecessary verb
apply
increased
which Wrong verb form
increasing
cause
pollution which Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
is
harmful to Add a missing verb
is is
earth
.
Add an article
the earth
To sum up
, because of evolving
of Replace the word
the evolution
medical
sector Correct article usage
the medical
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
living
much longer than before and Replace the word
live
this
causes several drawbacks such
as increase
in Add an article
an increase
the increase
population
and unemployment and also
rise
in pollution .Correct article usage
a rise
Hence
, there are more disadvantages compared to advantages.Submitted by akshayashvi07 on
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Language Range
Consider using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging.
Structure
Try to introduce your main points in the introduction and then develop these with clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the question.
Conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your essay effectively, restating your position clearly.
Accuracy
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors, as these can detract from the clarity of your argument.
Use of Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your argument, which strengthens your essay.
Clarity of Position
Your essay has a clear position throughout, which is good for task response.
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