the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.

the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.
The maps below
displays
Change the verb form
display
show examples
an industrial surface in the city of Norbition and
planned
Correct article usage
the planned
show examples
future
development of the site.
Overall
, there are 2 maps, in the first map we have
plan
Add an article
a plan
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the norbiton
show examples
norbiton
Change the capitalization
Norbiton
show examples
industrial area now,
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the second map we have
plan
Add an article
a plan
show examples
of planned
future
development.
Future
changes are building new facilities, new
roads
and new housing
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
instead
of old
factories
. There are 8
factories
located
nearly
Change the word
near
show examples
to the
road
in the land. We have
town
Correct article usage
a town
show examples
and farmland nearly located to the river right now. There
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a 2
roads
, the first is a main
road
and the second is a
road
to the
factories
. There is only one building as
factories
. There will be entertaining places
such
as
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
, shops and important facilities for
town
Add an article
a town
the town
show examples
such
as
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
and medical
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
in planned
future
developments. There will be a new
road
going through
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
which help to go from town to farmland in the
future
. The
factories
will be crushed and
instead
of them, housing will be there. There will be 4
roads
. The main
road
and the other
road
will stay without any changes, but 2
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
roads
will be built.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead, such".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words future, roads, factories, road with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned development
  • existing facilities
  • proposed changes
  • infrastructure
  • public spaces
  • sustainable development
  • green spaces
  • pollution control
  • local community
  • job creation
  • amenities
  • property values
  • displacement
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental degradation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: