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Writing Samples
Band 6

the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.

the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.
#show #area #town #norbition #future #development #site
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The maps below
displays
Change the verb form
display
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 an industrial surface in the city of Norbition and
planned
Correct article usage
the planned
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future
Use synonyms
 development of the site.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 2 maps, in the first map we have
plan
Add an article
a plan
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the norbiton
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norbiton
Change the capitalization
Norbiton
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 industrial area now,
Correct word choice
and in
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the second map we have
plan
Add an article
a plan
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 of planned
future
Use synonyms
 development.
Future
Use synonyms
 changes are building new facilities, new
roads
Use synonyms
 and new housing
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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instead
Linking Words
 of old
factories
Use synonyms
. There are 8
factories
Use synonyms
 located
nearly
Change the word
near
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 to the
road
Use synonyms
 in the land. We have
town
Correct article usage
a town
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 and farmland nearly located to the river right now. There
is
Verb problem
apply
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a 2
roads
Use synonyms
, the first is a main
road
Use synonyms
 and the second is a
road
Use synonyms
 to the
factories
Use synonyms
. There is only one building as
factories
Use synonyms
. There will be entertaining places
such
Linking Words
 as
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
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, shops and important facilities for
town
Add an article
a town
the town
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such
Linking Words
 as
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 and medical
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
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 in planned
future
Use synonyms
 developments. There will be a new
road
Use synonyms
 going through
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
 which help to go from town to farmland in the
future
Use synonyms
. The
factories
Use synonyms
 will be crushed and
instead
Linking Words
 of them, housing will be there. There will be 4
roads
Use synonyms
. The main
road
Use synonyms
 and the other
road
Use synonyms
 will stay without any changes, but 2
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 will be built.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead, such".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words future, roads, factories, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned development
  • existing facilities
  • proposed changes
  • infrastructure
  • public spaces
  • sustainable development
  • green spaces
  • pollution control
  • local community
  • job creation
  • amenities
  • property values
  • displacement
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental degradation
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