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Band 6

the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.

the map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.
#show #area #town #norbition #future #development #site
The maps below
displays
Change the verb form
display
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 an industrial surface in the city of Norbition and
planned
Correct article usage
the planned
show examples
future
 development of the site.
Overall
, there are 2 maps, in the first map we have
plan
Add an article
a plan
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the norbiton
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norbiton
Change the capitalization
Norbiton
show examples
 industrial area now,
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the second map we have
plan
Add an article
a plan
show examples
 of planned
future
 development.
Future
 changes are building new facilities, new
roads
 and new housing
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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instead
 of old
factories
. There are 8
factories
 located
nearly
Change the word
near
show examples
 to the
road
 in the land. We have
town
Correct article usage
a town
show examples
 and farmland nearly located to the river right now. There
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a 2
roads
, the first is a main
road
 and the second is a
road
 to the
factories
. There is only one building as
factories
. There will be entertaining places
such
 as
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
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, shops and important facilities for
town
Add an article
a town
the town
show examples
such
 as
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 and medical
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
 in planned
future
 developments. There will be a new
road
 going through
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
 which help to go from town to farmland in the
future
. The
factories
 will be crushed and
instead
 of them, housing will be there. There will be 4
roads
. The main
road
 and the other
road
 will stay without any changes, but 2
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
roads
 will be built.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead, such".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words future, roads, factories, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned development
  • existing facilities
  • proposed changes
  • infrastructure
  • public spaces
  • sustainable development
  • green spaces
  • pollution control
  • local community
  • job creation
  • amenities
  • property values
  • displacement
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental degradation
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