Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
Linking Words
governments widely
support
Use synonyms
the arts industry, some argue that they should better allocate those funds
elsewhere
Linking Words
.
Although
Linking Words
many art jobs necessitate financial
support
Use synonyms
, I contend that we should prioritize other aspects of people's lives, like mass transit. On the one hand, young
artists
Use synonyms
often lack the necessary experience to start their careers;
therefore
Linking Words
, they need substantial
support
Use synonyms
from the government. It is essential to organize specialized art events and exhibitions to help sculptors, painters, and others communicate within their
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
of interest. Establishing connections among diverse art communities leads to the popularization of the arts and the creation of new job opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, the opening of several international exhibitions in Ukraine provided local
artists
Use synonyms
with a significant opportunity to gain recognition.
However
Linking Words
, I am of the belief that governments should invest more in green public transport development
instead
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some cities suffer from a lack of public transportation options,
such
Linking Words
as electric buses and taxis.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the sale of more cars and their congested streets
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to an increase in air pollution
due to
Linking Words
the copious amounts of gas produced by combustion engines.
For instance
Linking Words
, in London, the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
is free of car emissions, and that happened because of government policies to invest in green public vehicles that serve the citizens. In my opinion, enhancing the city's infrastructure should have a higher priority compared to investments in
artists
Use synonyms
'
support
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the greater the investments in green transport, the healthier the environment will be. In conclusion, it is quite important to lend a hand to
artists
Use synonyms
and aid them in their career growth, but I think governments should focus more on other problematic areas like public infrastructural improvements.
Submitted by serginio.nick on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to develop your main points with specific examples and explanations for a stronger argument. Your essay discusses both views and provides specific examples, which is great. Expanding on these examples could add more depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily. You've done well to structure your essay logically, but implementing more transitional phrases could enhance the flow.
task achievement
Considering both sides of the argument before stating your opinion strengthens your essay. Your personal opinion is clear and well-supported, contributing positively to your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to paragraphing as a means to organize your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. It seems you have done this well, which aids in overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You provided clear examples to support your points, such as the international exhibitions in Ukraine and the green public vehicles policy in London.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a logical structure and a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • culture
  • creativity
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • social development
  • personal development
  • merit
  • financial support
  • balanced
  • transparent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: