Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While
governments widely support
the arts industry, some argue that they should better allocate those funds elsewhere
. Although
many art jobs necessitate financial support
, I contend that we should prioritize other aspects of people's lives, like mass transit. On the one hand, young artists
often lack the necessary experience to start their careers; therefore
, they need substantial support
from the government. It is essential to organize specialized art events and exhibitions to help sculptors, painters, and others communicate within their area
of interest. Establishing connections among diverse art communities leads to the popularization of the arts and the creation of new job opportunities. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
For instance
, the opening of several international exhibitions in Ukraine provided local artists
with a significant opportunity to gain recognition. However
, I am of the belief that governments should invest more in green public transport development instead
. On the other hand
, some cities suffer from a lack of public transportation options, such
as electric buses and taxis. Additionally
, the sale of more cars and their congested streets lead
to an increase in air pollution Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
due to
the copious amounts of gas produced by combustion engines. For instance
, in London, the city center
is free of car emissions, and that happened because of government policies to invest in green public vehicles that serve the citizens. In my opinion, enhancing the city's infrastructure should have a higher priority compared to investments in Change the spelling
centre
artists
' support
. As a result
, the greater the investments in green transport, the healthier the environment will be. In conclusion, it is quite important to lend a hand to artists
and aid them in their career growth, but I think governments should focus more on other problematic areas like public infrastructural improvements.Submitted by serginio.nick on
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task achievement
Make sure to develop your main points with specific examples and explanations for a stronger argument. Your essay discusses both views and provides specific examples, which is great. Expanding on these examples could add more depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily. You've done well to structure your essay logically, but implementing more transitional phrases could enhance the flow.
task achievement
Considering both sides of the argument before stating your opinion strengthens your essay. Your personal opinion is clear and well-supported, contributing positively to your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to paragraphing as a means to organize your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. It seems you have done this well, which aids in overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You provided clear examples to support your points, such as the international exhibitions in Ukraine and the green public vehicles policy in London.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a logical structure and a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.