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Writing Samples
Band 5

In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Digital devices have simplified everyday living as they provide various new functions to connect with the world.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, people prefer to buy advanced gadgets;
however
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, they come with both advantages and disadvantages. I strongly believe that the benefits of new technology outweigh the drawbacks because it offers multiple ways of communicating and instant access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
information
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 there is a downside
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
owing
Use the right word
owning
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 a smartphone
that
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is disrupt
Wrong verb form
disrupts
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 sleep. Since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 these advanced gadgets have access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, which has endless content and stimulates mental alertness for long hours. Continuous notifications and updates
remain
Verb problem
keep
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 people checking their devices
Punctuation problem
, that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 fear of missing out. To address
this
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, there should be the establishment of
relaxing
Correct article usage
a relaxing
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 bedtime, where no technology is allowed at least one hour before sleep.
This
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 strategy not only
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
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 a calm state to fall asleep faster but
also
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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experiencing
Verb problem
to experience
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 more restful sleep.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the major upside is enhanced communication through texts and calls. They facilitate global interactions through video
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
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, making it easy to stay connected with families regardless of distance.
For example
Linking Words
,
this
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 benefit fosters both personal and professional relationships, leading to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 their bond stronger. There are numerous applications
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
whatsapp
Use the right word
WhatsApp
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,
instagram
Fix capitalization
Instagram
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, and
zoom
Fix capitalization
Zoom
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 allow constant connection
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 enables quick response and cost-effective exchange of
information
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
this
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 technology is very positive for students because they can browse news websites and access academic resources. These modern gadgets encourage learners to use
information
Use synonyms
 anywhere and anytime, as
this
Linking Words
empower
Correct subject-verb agreement
empowers
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 individuals to
quick
Replace the word
quickly
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 find school work, assignment materials and project
information
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will result in reducing search time through digital platforms that are present in advanced devices. In conclusion, even though smartphones cause sleep disorders, the positive aspects cannot be overlooked. Improving regular interactions and wide
information
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 highly beneficial, which
foster
Correct subject-verb agreement
fosters
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easy
Correct article usage
an easy
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 daily life.

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task response
Make your view very clear in the first line. Say yes, the good side is bigger.
coherence
Keep one idea in each part and tie them with easy linking words like also, but, then.
content
Add more proof for each main point. Give a short fact or example.
grammar
Fix tiny grammar errors and keep simple form.
content
Gives both sides and ends with a clear view.
examples
Uses real apps as examples.
scope
Talks about how tech can help study and chat.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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