Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #music #cultures #ages

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It cannot be denied that we are living in a world where we can hear great sounds and

music

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at any time. Proponents say that

music

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is probably a good way to bring many

people

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from different countries and ages together. And I strongly agree with that issue. On the one hand,

music

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can connect you and your family members thanks to its melodies. Even though

music

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doesn't say much, it

nonetheless

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has a profound impact on our emotions. Our bodies exhibit every sign of emotional arousal and become active when we listen to our

favorite

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favourite

show examples

tunes at the events or activities we all are partaking in.

Such

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pleasurable stimuli make everyone closer, and they understand each other better, making the whole atmosphere more joyful.

Hence

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, each member will better understand each individual's musical tastes.

For example

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, children will understand the beauty of the melodies and lyrics of traditional songs that their parents often listen to. We can see that all ages can enjoy different genres of

music

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, and it can connect all ages.

On the other hand

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, thanks to the power of musical melody, it is possible to connect the beats of the heart from every country, and it actually heats the nail on the head.

For example

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, when we are at a K-pop concert, we have a strong sense of emotion in each melody.

People

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don't care who they are or where they come from, they seem to blend into each other's lyrics. They

also

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can get closer to everyone around and can talk about their countries or their cultural lives. To draw a conclusion, one can say that

music

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plays an important role in making

people

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's lives more

colorful

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colourful

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and connecting

people

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people

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Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Sat Apr 13 2024

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Introduction & Thesis

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, ensuring a clear presentation of your opinion on the topic. To enhance your essay further, consider strengthening your thesis statement to make your stance even more distinctive.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've used logical paragraphing and a range of cohesive devices effectively. However, for an even stronger essay, try to vary your linking words and phrases to demonstrate a wider range of coherence tools.

Supporting Details

Your examples are relevant and support your arguments well. To elevate your essay, integrate more detailed examples or statistics, where possible, to substantiate your points more robustly.

Conclusion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing your agreement with the statement. For further improvement, consider mentioning future implications or a call to action to leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Introduction

Effective use of an introductory paragraph to present your viewpoint.

Structure

Clear logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Examples

Good use of examples to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Question, without capital punishment our lives less secure crimes and violence increase , capital punishments is essential to control violence to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

NOW a days people are using more consumer goods like refrigerators or washing machines. Does it has more advantages or disadvantages

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.