in many countruies, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countruies #amount #crime

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One of the problems that today's societies are facing with it is that the

number

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crimes

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is growing day by day. Of course, there are a variety of possible reasons for

this

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, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem. in

this

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essay, I will explain it in

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

. In my opinion, two main factors are to blame for increasing the

crimes

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Firstly

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, lack of suitable

education

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It is clear that

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there is a positive correlation between

education

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and crime.The

number

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crimes

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in countries with high-quality

education

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systems is much less than the countries with poor

education

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systems.

Secondly

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, Lack of

Job

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opportunities could be another reason for crime increasing. When people do not have a proper

job

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that can make money and occupy their time efficiently , they will start to earn money in illegal ways which causes increased mass.

For Example

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, the

number

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of robberies in a poor country with a high rate of unemployment is much more than in the countries which have a good

job

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market. There are different ways that can be dealt with

this

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problem, but I believe that the government's role is very important. In the first step, governments should try to improve the

education

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system and provide some facilities so that primary

education

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Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

free for all citizens. They

also

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should review the school's curricula and carry out some reforms in the curriculum content of schools with the aim of acquaintance of students with the drawbacks of delinquency. the second useful step could be trying to provide more jobs and improve the

job

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market in order to reduce the

number

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of jobless population.

For instance

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, facilitating the running of factories and huge stores in densely populated areas leads to hiring a large group of residents. In Conclusion, The

number

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of violations and

crimes

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is growing for several reasons

such

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as lack of a proper

education

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system or high rate of unemployment which require the participation of the government to create conditions for improving the

education

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system and labour market situation.

Submitted by ghazale on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Grammar

Ensure grammatical accuracy and consistency, especially with subject-verb agreement and article usage. For instance, "...societies are facing with it is that..." could be simplified to "...societies are facing is that...".

Sentence Variety

Consider varying your sentence structures to include more complex and compound sentences. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Specific Examples

When providing examples, ensure they are specific and detailed. For example, instead of simply mentioning "In poor countries...," naming a specific country or study would strengthen your argument.

Spelling

Be cautious of minor spelling mistakes (e.g., "countries" instead of "countruies"). While these are small errors, consistently checking your spelling will improve the overall presentation of your essays.

Task Response

You have clearly addressed the essay prompt by discussing the main causes of crime and proposing solutions to deal with these causes.

Essay Structure

The structure of your essay follows a logical and clear format, with an introduction, discussion of causes, suggested solutions, and a conclusion.

Argument Clarity

Your essay provides a coherent argument supported by relevant examples, which helps in making your points clear and persuasive.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic disparities
socioeconomic backgrounds
illegal activities
lack of education
employment opportunities
breakdown of family structures
community support
proliferation
poverty alleviation
desperation
investing in education
lawful livelihoods
strengthening
counseling
social programs
community policing
strict regulations
possession

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in many countruies, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

More and more people are buying food that is ready to eat rather than choosing to eat home-cooked food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many developing countries require aid from international organisations to develop. Many people think that this aid should be financial, while others think that practical aid and advice are more useful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Animal extinction is one of the biggest environmental problems we face. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?