IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
In today's technological era, everything is available online so it is believed that in the coming period of time, people will not buy physical things like newspapers or books ,they will be able to get information on media without money.I largely disagree with
this
 notion
due to
 the decline in jobs and the end of traditions. To commence with views of agreement that everything will be available digitally and moneyless.
In other words
,with the advancement of technologies these days
also
 most of the information is accessible digitally.Even though,individuals can pay online.One can search anything online and can get the information within seconds.
Hence
, people think in the future physical objects will become extinct everything will be done by computers. Shifting towards views of agreement,if everything becomes computer accessible
then
 it will affect a lot in the employment sector.To elaborate ,if machines take over stuff ,
in addition
 without money they provide articles
then
 people start preferring them and no job opportunity will be left.
For instance
,one newspaper company provides occupation to thousands of employees and if they shut down so many folk lost jobs.
As a result
,unemployment.
Further
 strengthening views, will be the end of a tradition.To explicate it, newspaper reading is a kind of culture.Masses read it with morning tea,
in addition
 to
this
 businessmen used it to stay up to date.Our grandparents used to read horoscopes on it.
Hence
,if they stop selling it, it will finish an old generation time .
Moreover
,today's generation of children will never be able to understand the roots. In conclusion,
although
 online stuff can be done in seconds yet physical things have it's own importance.
Submitted by nandnilekhi on

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task achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider providing more concrete examples and data to support your arguments. This will add depth and credibility to your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure a more structured flow of ideas between paragraphs with clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
Consider revisiting the prompt to ensure you are addressing all parts of the task accurately, which includes discussing both the extent of your agreement or disagreement and supporting your position.
coherence cohesion
You offered a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively bookend your argument, which helps frame your essay well.
task achievement
You've demonstrated an ability to generate comprehensive ideas around the given topic with clear statements of disagreement providing an engaging response.
task achievement
The use of real-life examples, like the impact on employment and the end of tradition, provides a good foundation for your argument, making it more relatable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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