IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The gap between the rich and the poor has been enlarged in recent years. What are the causes and solutions for this problem?

Today, the distance between
people
Use synonyms
 who live at the highest level of
society
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 and
people
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 who live at the lowest level of
society
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 has increased.
This
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 essay will argue that most politicians put their attention and assets on rich
people
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 beside of increasing the
rate
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 of
inflation
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.
Also
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,
this
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 essay will suggest that to overcome these situations, providing some positions for poor
people
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 to invest their money and increasing our concern about domestic products are the main solutions. On the one hand, these days most
people
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 who have a position in government in a country only put their all effort into rich
people
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.
Furthermore
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, the
inflation
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rate
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 in the modern era is one of the crucial concerns for many countries. The vast majority of governments around the world need funding, so to reach
this
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 goal they give more attention and assets to rich
people
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.
Also
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, a couple of years ago human beings faced different catastrophic situations which had a negative effect on the world's economy
as well as
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 increased the
inflation
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rate
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.
For instance
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, the
inflation
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rate
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 between 2019 and 2020 rose to more than 20% because of Corona pandemic.
On the other hand
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, to overcome
this
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 situation providing some opportunities for mid-level or low-level of
society
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 to invest part of their wages in governmental projects ,and reducing the dependency to other nations could be the main solutions. If politicians can change their perspective and provide a situation where poor
people
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 can invest a small amount of money in it to reach a lot of benefits
instead
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 of only using rich
people
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's assets, it could help other
levelslevel
Correct your spelling
levels
 of
society
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 to reduce their gap from rich
people
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.
Also
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, if governments just focus on domestic products
instead
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 of importing other materials that can be produced in the country, they can create more job opportunities for
people
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 especially poor
people
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.
As a result
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, not only the
inflation
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rate
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 would resist different situations but
also
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 a lot of employees can find a good job with a great wage. In conclusion, in the modern day the gap between two groups of
people
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, rich and poor level, has increased
due to
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 a lot of attention by governments to rich
people
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 and rising
inflation
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 globally.
However
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, providing a situation for the investment of poor
people
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 and decreasing the dependency on other nations are the main answers to
this
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 gap.

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Task Achievement
Develop a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to convey your main arguments succinctly.
Task Achievement
Enhance the specificity and relevance of your examples to better support your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure logical progression from paragraph to paragraph by using a wider variety of cohesive devices and transitions.
Task Achievement
Expand on your main ideas by providing more detailed explanations and deeper analysis.
General
Consider revising for small inaccuracies in language use to improve clarity and precision.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides arguments and solutions related to the gap between the rich and the poor.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and wrap up the essay's ideas appropriately.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've made a solid effort to structure your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing different aspects of the topic.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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