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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about a bakery's average sales in three different branched in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about a bakery's average sales in three different branched in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #bakery #sales #three #summarise #features #comparisons
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The table below illustrates the numbers of sales in three bakery's brands's averages in the period 2005.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
averages
Change the noun form
average
show examples
 figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
London
Use synonyms
Covent
Use synonyms
Garden
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the highest in four categories. The most popular
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 in
London
Use synonyms
Covent
Use synonyms
Garden
Use synonyms
,
London
Use synonyms
Oxford
Use synonyms
 Circus and
London
Use synonyms
St
Use synonyms
John
Use synonyms
's
Wood
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 croissant, medium latte and strawberry tart respectively.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the
number
Use synonyms
 of
transations
Correct your spelling
transactions
transitions
,
London
Use synonyms
Covent
Use synonyms
Garden
Use synonyms
 was 642,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 was
London
Use synonyms
Oxford
Use synonyms
 Circus with 538 and final belonged to 269 of
St
Use synonyms
John
Use synonyms
's
Wood
Use synonyms
. Addictional with transaction value when sales in three branches were 7.85 pounds, 4.51
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
show examples
 and 5.01
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
show examples
 respectively and the lowest was
Oxford
Use synonyms
 Cirus. A similar trend
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
transactions
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of Eat
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Transactions
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of Take Away
Transactions
Use synonyms
. In Eat in
Transactions
Use synonyms
, the
Covent
Use synonyms
Garden
Use synonyms
 peaked at 304, which
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
57
Change preposition
than 57
show examples
 than
Oxford
Use synonyms
 Cirus and more 154 than
St
Use synonyms
John
Use synonyms
's
Wood
Use synonyms
. Duty Take Away
Transactions
Use synonyms
,
St
Use synonyms
John
Use synonyms
's
Wood
Use synonyms
 sales was 119, litter 172 than
Oxford
Use synonyms
 Circus and 219 than
Covent
Use synonyms
Garden
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hoangminhnhat150206 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, covent, garden, oxford, st, john, wood, number, transactions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
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