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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and fiver your opinion.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions #fiver
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People
 have different views about whether the main goal of studying is to make more beneficial residents for society or whether
education
 contributes to reaching their wishes.
While
 some agree that educated adults can actualise their
ambitions
, I believe that academic
education
 can bring up a useful generation for the countries. On the one hand, generally,
people
 have some
ambitions
 which have built them since childhood and think that they will be successful if they reach those wishes. They try to run in their ambition road until they reach the target.
Additionally
, it is accepted by the majority of individuals that
educated
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
people
 to achieve more goals in their lives. So, parents encourage their children to continue their
education
 in order to achieve their own aims. A case in point is those students who continued their
education
 not for the purpose of success but just to reach their wishes.
On The other hand
,
people
 should be taught to value others' attempts rather than their achievements.
Therefore
, the younger generation will distinguish the difference between
ambitions
 and success.
Moreover
, through academic
education
 students learn morality alongside their subjects which will influence their future manner in their personal life. The educated
people
 without moral values will not be completely beneficial for their country.
For instance
, we can see some high-level
people
 in society whose behaviour makes them unlikely among others.
Consequently
,
although
 some
people
 think that reaching
ambitions
 is the main aim of
education
, I am of the opinion that
education
 helps
people
 to be more beneficial for society.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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task achievement
For clarity and a stronger argument, consider adding more specific examples and evidence to support your views.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure transitions between ideas and paragraphs are smooth, using a variety of linking phrases.
task achievement
Keep working on developing a balanced discussion of both views before concluding with your own opinion for a fuller task response.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay presents a thoughtful opinion that aligns well with the essay prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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