In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #people #students #jobs

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So many students across the

worl

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world

are

ecourage

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encouraged

encourage

people

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study

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and to work part-time

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show examples

the same time,

while

Linking Words

others disagree. In my opinion, as a student finding a part-time

job

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will make you

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apply

show examples

spend some time there and

not

Rephrase

apply

show examples

will not let you

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apply

show examples

focus

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study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

enough. On the one hand, there are some

people

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that believe is

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

ideea

Correct your spelling

idea

for students to start working part-time

while

Linking Words

studying. I personally believe that as a student you should

focus

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on university more than finding a part-time

job

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because for

people

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is enough to

study

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and is already hard, having an extra

job

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to do, will make you

focus

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less on

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study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

and you will need to split yourself in two different places.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

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believe that as a student you need to just

study

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and forget about a

job

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until you finish your

studyies

Correct your spelling

studies

. I believe that the answer

for

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show examples

succes

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success

is to

focus

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on only one point, in

thine

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this

case, studying, so

firstly

Linking Words

finish your

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study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

and only after that find a

job

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To conclude

Linking Words

, having a

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

job

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while

Linking Words

studying, will keep you unfocused when is about

prepare

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preparing

show examples

yourself for your future. The best

choise

Correct your spelling

choice

is to finish your

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study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

first and

then

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start

loking

Correct your spelling

looking

for a good

job

Use synonyms

Submitted by atomoiaga46 on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to clearly discuss both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion. Your essay seems to focus more on the negatives of part-time work without fully exploring its potential benefits.

Task Achievement

Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This can make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve readability and cohesion. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper use of punctuation.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use paragraphs effectively to organize your essay. A clear introduction, followed by separate paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion, can greatly enhance the logical flow of your writing.

Structure

You have successfully introduced and concluded the topic according to the essay prompt, which is a good structure.

Opinion

You present a clear personal opinion, which is an essential part of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

220 words

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In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Digital Communication Technology, such as emails, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connections between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for you answer and include examples.

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other.Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skill. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions.

Some people choose a career according to the social status, or salary. Others choose a career according to their interests. So what do you think is the best what to choose a career? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this, and what are some of the long-term effects?