Bạn đã gửisome people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy?What other things in life can make people happy?

#bạn #gửisome #people #life #money

It has been frequently argued that in the current period, few

people

protest that when

mental

Change the word

mentally

show examples

happy,

people

will

happy

Add a missing verb

be happy

show examples

However

, many individuals argue that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

money

can make

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

cheerful. I will shed light on my stance in the following essay.

To begin

with, I wouldn't say

money

brings gladness and I would say it can dramatically increase the opportunity for citizens to be satisfied.

For example

money

allows

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

stop

Fix the infinitive

to stop

show examples

worrying enough to enjoy life. I mean it lets others get more life experiences

such

as learning to ride a horse or diving in some

Medxican

Correct your spelling

Mexican

caves. It

also

lets

people

take care of their health.

For instance

, go to the gym or swimming pool. On the

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand, it is

common

Add an article

a common

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belief that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

residents

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

long hours, day and night, and even when they are unwell.

However

, with great human ambition,

money

is never enough. Even if we work for decades and work hard, we still do not feel complete. To be honest, it is determined by individuals their needs and desires, their

preception

Correct your spelling

perception

show examples

of the world in general and happiness

in particular

. Some citizens in my country feel cheerful with pets or spending time with family and friends.

Moreover

, these

people

are grateful for minor mercies and appreciate every moment of their lives. Others take pleasure in dancing, singing, getting new experiences, doing things they love to do and helping other

people

For instance

nation

Correct article usage

a nation

show examples

feels joyful only after purchasing something. They dream or

dreamt

Correct your spelling

dream

show examples

about or just window shopping

as well as

those who take pleasure in pampering themselves and meditating. In short, having determination about

money

will help individuals advance, but that doesn't mean our life only revolves around it. Enjoy the best things the world has to offer

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

, calm down and feel it

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Sun Apr 07 2024

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clarity

Keep practicing enhancing the clarity and structure of your essay to make it more compelling. Consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader.

support

Work on expanding and supporting your main points with specific examples and explanations. This makes your argument stronger and more persuasive.

grammar

Remember to re-read your essay to check for and correct grammatical errors and typos. Developing this habit will improve the overall quality of your writing.

engagement

Engage more actively with the essay prompt. Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task, including explaining how money can make people happy and discussing alternative sources of happiness.

balanced argument

You provided a balanced view, discussing both the impact of money on happiness and exploring other sources of happiness, which shows good engagement with the essay topic.

creative thinking

Your essay includes a variety of ideas and viewpoints, demonstrating creativity and critical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Bạn đã gửisome people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy?What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria?

Some people think it is more impỏtant to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, criminal novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime drama?

It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Some people think that this is a waste of money, but others believe the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.