Bạn đã gửisome people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy?What other things in life can make people happy?

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It has been frequently argued that in the current period, few

people

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protest that when

mental

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mentally

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happy,

people

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will

happy

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be happy

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However

Linking Words

, many individuals argue that

Remove the comma

apply

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money

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can make

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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cheerful. I will shed light on my stance in the following essay.

To begin

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with, I wouldn't say

money

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brings gladness and I would say it can dramatically increase the opportunity for citizens to be satisfied.

For example

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money

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allows

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

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stop

Fix the infinitive

to stop

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worrying enough to enjoy life. I mean it lets others get more life experiences

such

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as learning to ride a horse or diving in some

Medxican

Correct your spelling

Mexican

caves. It

also

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lets

people

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take care of their health.

For instance

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, go to the gym or swimming pool. On the

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

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hand, it is

common

Add an article

a common

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belief that

Remove the comma

apply

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residents

labor

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labour

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long hours, day and night, and even when they are unwell.

However

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, with great human ambition,

money

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is never enough. Even if we work for decades and work hard, we still do not feel complete. To be honest, it is determined by individuals their needs and desires, their

preception

Correct your spelling

perception

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of the world in general and happiness

in particular

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. Some citizens in my country feel cheerful with pets or spending time with family and friends.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these

people

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are grateful for minor mercies and appreciate every moment of their lives. Others take pleasure in dancing, singing, getting new experiences, doing things they love to do and helping other

people

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For instance

Linking Words

nation

Correct article usage

a nation

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feels joyful only after purchasing something. They dream or

dreamt

Correct your spelling

dream

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about or just window shopping

as well as

Linking Words

those who take pleasure in pampering themselves and meditating. In short, having determination about

money

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will help individuals advance, but that doesn't mean our life only revolves around it. Enjoy the best things the world has to offer

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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, calm down and feel it

quynhtranhbhSun Apr 07 2024

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clarity

Keep practicing enhancing the clarity and structure of your essay to make it more compelling. Consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader.

support

Work on expanding and supporting your main points with specific examples and explanations. This makes your argument stronger and more persuasive.

grammar

Remember to re-read your essay to check for and correct grammatical errors and typos. Developing this habit will improve the overall quality of your writing.

engagement

Engage more actively with the essay prompt. Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task, including explaining how money can make people happy and discussing alternative sources of happiness.

balanced argument

You provided a balanced view, discussing both the impact of money on happiness and exploring other sources of happiness, which shows good engagement with the essay topic.

creative thinking

Your essay includes a variety of ideas and viewpoints, demonstrating creativity and critical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Bạn đã gửisome people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy?What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

Some people believe that it’s important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both views

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is it the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The leaders of most organisations tend to be older people.However, some argue that younger people tend to make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?