IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of the expenditures and the incomes of a children's
charity
Use synonyms
 in the USA in one year.
According to
Linking Words
 the figures, it can be seen that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 money that the
charity
Use synonyms
 gets is more than it spends.
A donated food
Remove the article
Donated food
A portion of donated food
show examples
 is a majority of
income
Correct article usage
the income
show examples
 in the
charity
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 they spent on a program services the most compared to the other spending.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 main revenue source that the children's
charity
Use synonyms
 received came from the donated food,
occupied
Correct pronoun usage
which occupied
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
86.6%. Followed by
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
community contributions which represented
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10.4%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the minority of their incomes was an investment income and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government grants with only 0.2% of their total revenue.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the children's
charity
Use synonyms
expended
Replace the word
expenditure
show examples
 on the program service accounted for 95.8% of the expenditures.
A fundraising
Remove the article
Fundraising
show examples
 came second place responsible for 2.6%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they use their money on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
management and general the least, which was just 1.6%.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words charity with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • charity
  • non-profit organization
  • funds
  • revenue
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising
  • expenditure
  • allocations
  • administrative costs
  • program services
  • beneficiaries
  • financial year
  • breakdown
  • percentage
  • portion
  • sector
  • philanthropy
  • budgeting
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