The charts show the main methodof transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009

#show #methodof #transport #people #university

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The pie charts describe the percentage of common

tranportation

Correct your spelling

transportation

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

for individuals travelling to a particular

university

Use synonyms

from 2004 and 2009.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the bus and

car dominated

Add a hyphen

car-dominated

show examples

all of

way

Correct article usage

the way

show examples

people decide to go

Change preposition

show examples

a higher education institute. Looking in more detail, in 2004

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

show examples

contributed

for

Change preposition

show examples

most typical transportation at 51%.

However

Linking Words

, there was a significant decline in car use for travelling to go to the

university

Use synonyms

at 28% in 2009.

Then

Linking Words

, the bus was

Correct article usage

the

show examples

second largest proportion in becoming folks' choice at 33% in 2004.

Then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

number gradually increased

Change preposition

show examples

46% in 2009.

Whereas

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the bicycle

also

Linking Words

contributed in

way

Add an article

a way

show examples

to journey to

university

Use synonyms

at 9%,

then

Linking Words

it was followed by a gradual rose at 16% in 2009. The other categories, train and walking

also

Linking Words

became other decisions for people who desired to visit a

university

Use synonyms

. In 2004, train and walking were nearly similar, 3% and 4% respectively.

In addition

Linking Words

, both of them experienced a slight increase in 2009 at 4% and 6% for each other.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Apr 07 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words university with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

method of transport
comparison
increase
decrease
cars
bicycles
walking
public transport
popular choice
reasons
changes
infrastructure improvements
impact
transport choices

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The charts show the main methodof transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artifical intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Many small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area.How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children today are told dependent on computer and electronic entertainment.It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree.