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Writing Samples
Band 6

Deforestation is considered one of the major environmental problems. What are the causes and effects of deforestation? What solutions can be put in place to address it?

#deforestation #effects #place #address
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The major environmental issues come from deforestation. The main factor of deforestation is using it for developing nations. The key factor for mitigating
this
Linking Words
 problem is promoting how the
environment
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in our world. The root factor of deforestation is using it for developing countries–
such
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 as decorations and buildings. Most of the
wood
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 will go to manufacturing, which is used for building–
such
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 as houses and flats. They use numerous woods;
as a result
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, the
number
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 of
trees
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 will increase.
For example
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, most of the house in town is made from
wood
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 because it is beautiful and easy to find.
Trees
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 were the first thinking of creating houses or flats. Most of the house is made from
wood
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.
Moreover
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, woods are used for making furniture–
such
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 as chairs tables, and cabins–
due to
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 its beautiful and durable.
Therefore
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, the
number
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 of cutting down
trees
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 will rise and it will create a negative impact–
such
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 as global warming–
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our world. The solution to
this
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 problem create campaigns in public spaces about how the
environment
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 affects our world. Individuals will realize how the
environment
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 is important.
This
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 leads to reducing the
number
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 of cutting down
trees
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.
Furthermore
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, people can ban
products
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 that are made from
wood
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–
such
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 as
wood
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 furniture. If people do not purchase
wood
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products
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, the
number
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 of
wood
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 goods will drop.
This
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 effect on
wood
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products
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 will decrease, which mitigates the environmental issue. In the light above, I believe that
this
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 issue can be decreased by creating campaigns about the
environment
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. Individuals can realize and ban the
products
Use synonyms
, made from
trees
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Tiger23 on

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task achievement
Try to develop your main ideas with more clarity and depth. For instance, while you mention using wood for decorations and buildings, it would be beneficial to further explain how this contributes to deforestation in different regions.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and varied linking devices to connect your ideas and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. This will help create a more fluid reading experience.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the causes and solutions to deforestation, providing a structured approach to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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