Many people use social media every day to get in touch with others and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages
It is undeniable that social
media
plays a vital role in our lives today. From my point of view, even though this
social media
not only provides us with all the information about events or activities but also
plays a part in communication, they offer deceiving
and cheating which lead to some serious damage to our community Replace the word
deception
such
as scammer, fraud and hackers.
On the one hand, one of the advantages of social media
is it has vast information for all of us. We can learn and get unlimited knowledge about cultures
and customs of other countries that are located on the opposite side of us in a short time period. To illustrate, we can understand what is happening in the economy of Europe Correct article usage
the cultures
while
we are staying inside our accommodation. A second later, we can change the topic to geography or wildlife at the North Pole. Moreover
, social media
helps us to keep our bonding with beloved
ones or know about their being. Even if we do not travel to see them ourselves, we can still message them from wherever in the world and see them through the applications. The famous applications are Facebook and Instagram, both family members and friends are able to look into our posts or reels and text us.
Correct your spelling
loved
On the other hand
, the obvious drawback of social media
is that it becomes the best way for scammers and frauds. These people are trying to deceive mostly elderly or uneducated people, and then
convince and persuade these victims to wire the money to them. Sometimes, the victims' title deeds are included in the process of this
crime. As we regularly see on the news, some of them lose their entire money and land in only 10 minutes. Additionally
, hackers become an intensive problem for everyone. They can get through all the cyber security and bring our personal or secret data out of any bureaus or corporations that they target. As a result
, our information is sold at a low price to opposite companies or countries, which will bring enormous damage to us and our country. Such
as blackmail, threats or economic collapse.
In conclusion, it can be seen that social media
is the invisible route that can connect us to every part of the world, but it also
gives us various kinds of deceivingSubmitted by nnatthinee on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
style
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more engaging.
structure
To further improve your task achievement score, ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes both sides of the argument and clearly states your position. This helps provide closure and reinforces your overall argument.
grammar
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and try to proofread your essay to correct them. These can slightly distract from the overall quality of your writing.
vocabulary
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary that is specific to the topic. Employing topic-specific lexis can boost the clarity of your arguments and add a level of depth to your essay.
balance
Your essay does an excellent job of presenting both advantages and disadvantages of social media, making your argument balanced and comprehensive.
examples
You've used relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments significantly.
structure
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs dedicated to each side of the argument, and a conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.