Write about the following topic: Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

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It is clear that
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many
species
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of
animals
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are nearly extinction which has very negative consequences for the diversity of life on our planet. The purpose of
this
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essay is
examine
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to examine
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the reasons for
this
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problem and suggest some solutions. The major threat to the survival of animal
species
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is human activity.
This
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is clear in the illegal poaching of
animals
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like tigers and rhinos who are hunted for sport and to sell on the black market. Many
species
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of fish are
also
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the victims of overfishing.
However
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, we have
also
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had a profound effect on animal life in the way we live. Population growth over the
last
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one hundred years has had a highly disastrous effect as cities and towns reduce many animal’s habitats.
Also
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, in order to sustain our growing population, we need more and more space for agriculture.
This
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can
be see
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be seen
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in the destruction of the Amazon rainforest which has endangered many
species
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. One final negative human influence can be seen in the changing environment. Climate
change
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threatens to
change
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the planet too quickly which could have terrible results for many
animals
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. A clear example of
this
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is the habitat of the polar bear which
expects
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is expected
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to
be drastically reduce
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be drastically reduced
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over the next few decades. Despite these
problems
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problems,
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there are some measures that could address the problem. Governments need to share responsibility and have stricter punishments for animal hunters. We can
also
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have larger protected areas where human activity is limited. Perhaps the most difficult problem to address is that of climate
change
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which would mean
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change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
the way we live. In conclusion, we can see that humans are having a very negative effect on animal numbers. We need to take responsibility for the protection of animal numbers and
reducing
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reduce
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the number of
animals
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being killed directly and indirectly by human activity.
Submitted by monahhj123 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow between ideas.
grammar
Ensure consistency in tenses and subject-verb agreement throughout your essay to enhance readability.
content
Successfully identified and explained key reasons behind the extinction of animals.
structure
Effective use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to frame your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay showcases a clear structure, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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