Now a days, a lot of people are able to do their work from home. Discuss both the advantage and disadvantages of this develpment.

The advent of technological innovations
have
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has
show examples
made
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
show examples
for employees to work from the comfort of their living space. Today I will be discussing the positives and negatives of
this
topic. To commence with the advantages, working from home greatly improves the work-life balance.
This
is especially beneficial to the working women who have to manage both, their job and home. A recent study revealed that enhancement in the work-life balance increases
ones
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one's
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productivity by 50%.
Additionally
working remotely saves commute time. Travelling to your office takes on an average
2
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of 2
show examples
hours a day, which can be utilised to increase productivity. Virtual work
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
also
decreases traffic
congestions
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congestion
show examples
on road. A recent news article highlighted that in cities like
mumbai
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Mumbai
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traffic was reduced by 40%
due to
such
initiatives. Cherry on the top, lesser the traffic lesser the pollution, which in turn is better for the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
While
there are many benefits there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
drawbacks as well. Working remotely can reduce productivity
due to
numerous distractions. As there is no one to supervise, workers can get indulged in useless activities.
Also
, working from home can make you feel lonely and isolated. People are deprived of face-to-face interactions and lack of interaction with people can lead to depression. On top of that,
sedentery
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sedentary
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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can cause various physical problems like obesity. In conclusion, working remotely
do
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does
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have a few disadvantages but the advantages significantly outweigh them.
Submitted by niravfb1987 on

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Task Achievement
Try to provide more balanced examples for both the advantages and disadvantages to enrich your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider structuring your paragraphs more clearly by separating advantages and disadvantages into clear, distinct sections.
Linguistic Range
For a higher score, diversify your vocabulary related to the topic to show a wider range of language.
Introduction
Great introduction of the topic and a clear layout of what the essay will cover.
Coherence
You effectively connected your ideas and points, making the essay coherent and easy to follow.
Use of Examples
You've included relevant examples to support your points, which helps in illustrating your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • productivity
  • flexible schedule
  • isolation
  • commute
  • work-life balance
  • distractions
  • virtual meetings
  • ergonomic
  • self-discipline
  • collaboration
  • remote work
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