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Writing Samples
Band 7

With increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform . what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

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The world is developing day by day and technology is no exception.People used to do hard tasks but
robots
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 have taken place in those positions. I think,
this
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 upgrade in work conditions is generally positive and the pros outweigh the cons.
To begin
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 with, technology has enhanced its machines in these decades and most of the demanding jobs have been done by machines. There are several benefit points,
such
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 as,they are fast,efficient and they can speed up the process .
For example
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, digging a deep hole used to be done by workers' power and that was a really hard and long process for staff,
although
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 after inventing the excavation vehicles the time was reduced by around 70 per cent, meanwhile the total cost decreased by about 50 per cent.
Additionally
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, if industrial equipment broke down, the only cost would be extra parts for repair and they can be held by money.
Nonetheless
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, for staff, it is not like
this
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 and if a human is faced with an accident it may cause catastrophic consequences,
for instance
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 , broken bones, physical problems and in the worst situation death.
On the other hand
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, when a robot is installed in a company , one person will lose his/her job and the most important aspect of
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 is making the population jobless.
However
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, I think
this
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 problem can be solved by
Correct article usage
the acts
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acts
Correct article usage
the acts
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 of companies and governments. They have to provide practical courses for those who might lose their job,
such
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 as repairing
robots
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 or maintaining mechanical parts. Those fields will be expanded if
robots
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 take place and the staff can easily alter their location and continue their new jobs In conclusion, in my opinion, introducing
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 to industrial companies is beneficial development because can reduce costs and boost projects,
moreover
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, it might have a drawback ,
although
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 it can be tackled simply by governments.Despite a negative point, we can consider
robots
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 that do jobs in companies as a positive innovation.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas and maintain coherence.
Task Response
To improve task response, consider developing counterarguments more thoroughly. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
General
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and sentence structure to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Positive - Task Achievement
Provided clear and relevant examples to support main points, effectively demonstrating the impact and benefits of technology in the workplace.
Positive - Coherence & Cohesion
Structured the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, maintaining a logical structure throughout.
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