ome experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign laguage at the primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

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In today's open world,the question of when
children
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should commence their foreign
language
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learning journey has become a matter of considerable
deba
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debate
.some professional people think learning an externe
language
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is necessary in primary
school
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. I think there are more advantages to
this
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proposition .
To begin
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with, commencing foreign
language
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education during primary
school
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offers numerous cognitive benefits to
children
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. Studies have shown that early
language
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learners tend to achieve higher levels of proficiency and fluency in the long run.
Additionally
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, exposure to different languages at a young age enhances critical thinking skills, improves problem-solving abilities, and fosters a greater appreciation for diverse cultures.
Moreover
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, early foreign
language
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learning helps
children
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develop a global perspective from an early age. As
children
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learn to communicate in a foreign
language
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, they
also
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gain access to a wealth of literature, media, and information from different parts of the world, broadening their horizons and encouraging a lifelong love for learning.
Furthermore
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, starting
language
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education at the primary level equips students with practical
language
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skills that can be applied in various contexts. As they progress through their academic journey, they can use their
language
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proficiency in subjects
such
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as science, technology, and the arts.
This
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integration of
language
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and other academic disciplines enhances their
overall
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education and prepares them for future academic and professional success.
However
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,In the beginning ,the curriculum of the primary
school
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includes more subjects than before,
therefore
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, a lot of pressure is put on students to gather
this
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information; thereby, I do not believe it will be a good move to add a burden on the primary
school
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's
children
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by asking them to learn a new
language
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beside current subjects, especially, in
this
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early stage of student's life, we need to focus more on their mental health to ensure prosperous future for them.
Overall
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, learning a foreign
language
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in primary
school
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is a heavy burden for students, and there is no need to increase the learning pressure during childhood. Through the analysis of
this
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article, I believe that learning a new
language
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in primary
school
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does more harm than good. It is more appropriate to
this
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learning skill
what
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that
show examples
is increased in junior high
school
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.
Submitted by luohongqianwen on

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Argument Clarity
Consider embracing a clearer stance throughout your essay. While you present advantages of starting early, your conclusion suggests that the disadvantages outweigh these benefits. Consistency in your argument will enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your piece.
Supporting Details
Incorporate specific examples or studies to bolster your claims. You mention studies but do not provide details. Including concrete examples can greatly strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
Balance in Discussion
Pay attention to maintaining a balanced discussion if your conclusion is meant to weigh both sides. If the disadvantages are significant for you, ensure they are clearly discussed alongside the advantages, not just briefly mentioned at the end.
Transitions
Your essay's structure is relatively clear, but transitions between ideas can be smoothed further. Consider using more linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
Content Understanding
You've effectively highlighted the cognitive and cultural benefits of early foreign language learning, capturing the essence of the argument for starting young.
Introduction
Your introduction captures the reader's attention by framing the debate on when to start language learning. This sets a good foundation for your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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