IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

University education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that tertiary
education
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 ought to be free for all learners. I largely agree with
this
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 notion and will address the relevant points in the upcoming paragraphs. Commencing with the predominant reason for disagreement, it is claimed that offering free tertiary
education
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 can cause financial losses to universities. To elaborate
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this
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on this
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, nowadays, most
students
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 gain admission to universities by paying tuition
fees
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, allowing these institutions to provide better
education
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 and an appropriate environment. If university
fees
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 were waived, the institutions would suffer substantial losses.
As a result
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,
this
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 trend could negatively impact
students
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' academic pursuits. Shifting towards the reasons for agreement, the first and foremost reason is that every individual can access
education
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 without concern for
fees
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. To explain
this
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,
education
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 plays a pivotal part in an individual's success, which in turn assists in the development of a nation. Many poor individuals cannot pay
fees
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 and end up in menial
labor
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labour
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, hindering national progress.
Hence
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, providing free university
education
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 would help
students
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 to acquire knowledge without financial constraints.
For example
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, a survey conducted by the 'Indian Government' showed that approximately 22.5% of youngsters could not achieve their goals
due to
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 a lack of funds for
education
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.
Therefore
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, free
education
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 would be helpful for a country's development.
Further
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, the second reason for agreement is that
students
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 are unable to focus on their
studies
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 properly. To explicate it, a significant number of
students
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 often engage in full-time or part-time jobs to cover tuition
fees
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.
Such
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 job pressures hinder their focus on
studies
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 and lead to feelings of depression.
For instance
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, a headline in the famous newspaper The Moscow Times stated that in 2018, Moscow University found that among their surveyed student population, 65% of
students
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 who did part-time jobs reported difficulties in concentrating on their
studies
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.
Therefore
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, these
students
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 reported higher levels of stress and depression compared to their peers who did not work
while
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 studying. In conclusion,
although
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 universities may face financial losses, providing free
education
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 would help ordinary and poor individuals receive an
education
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 without concern for
fees
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, enabling them to concentrate on their
studies
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 more easily.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the question well, but to enhance the task response, make sure to explicitly discuss the counterargument again in the conclusion to reinforce your position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly starts with a topic sentence that succinctly states the main point. This will strengthen the logical flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In your introduction, consider briefly outlining the points you will discuss. This helps guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced perspective on the topic.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of formal language and terminology is appropriate for academic writing, contributing to a strong tone throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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