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Writing Samples
Band 6

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first
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The maps illustrate how Grance
Park
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 has developed from 1920 to the present.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there have been significant changes in facilities, one
rose
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garden
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 remained from the original site.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a fountain which was located in the centre of the
park
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 has been demolished to build a large
rose
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garden
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 with
seats
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 around it. Looking into detail, in 1920, to the west of the
entrance
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 from Arnold Avenue, there was a
rose
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garden
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 with
seats
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 and to the east of
this
Linking Words
entrance
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, one
rose
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garden
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 without
seats
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 and a pond for water plants
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 located.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a fountain was located in the centre near a stage for musicians in the western direction. To the left of the
entrance
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 from Eldon Street, a
rose
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garden
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 was established
as well as
Linking Words
 a glasshouse with
seats
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 located on the right of the
entrance
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. In terms of changes, a large
rose
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garden
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 has been constructed in the centre where the fountain used to be. The stage and the
rose
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garden
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 below have been knocked down to build an Amphitheatre for concerts ,
while
Linking Words
 the
rose
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garden
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 in the southwest remains. The
rose
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garden
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 in the southeast of the
park
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 has been converted into a cafe,
whereas
Linking Words
 the children's play area has been built on the land previously occupied by the pond. The Glasshouse was demolished to build a water feature which has an
entrance
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 underground car
park
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 on the right
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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Structure
Consider adding a conclusion to strengthen the overall structure of your writing. Summarizing the main developments can make your essay feel more complete.
Language Use
To enhance coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas more clearly.
Task Response
In the introduction, specifically mention that the maps compare the park's layout from 1920 to the present to clearly set the context.
Introduction
You provided a clear overview at the beginning, effectively setting the scene for the comparison.
Content Detail
Detailed comparisons and descriptions of the changes in the park were well made, effectively supporting your main points.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of your essay, particularly in describing the changes over time, makes it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
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