Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?
Nowadays, the
internet
is more accessible and useful for us to connect with others. This
is not only for adults, but many children
are also
enjoying online socialise
without Wrong verb form
socialising
supervison
. The principal problem is it can be very addictive and they can easily Correct your spelling
supervision
spent
all day in Change the verb form
spend
fornt
of Correct your spelling
front
computer
. Add an article
the computer
a computer
The
possible solution to Correct article usage
A
this
is parents
Change preposition
for parents
shoud
limit their Correct your spelling
should
time
of use, while
it is unsupervised. This
essay will explain the reasons behind and
provide some examples.
Correct pronoun usage
this and
To begin
with, children
use
the Correct pronoun usage
who use
internet
without parental supervision can have the
Correct article usage
apply
problems
of
health and social risks. Without watching them accessing Change preposition
with
the
social media can give them some Correct article usage
apply
freedome
and sometimes there is an issue of bullying. If the Correct your spelling
freedom
chidren
do not know what is Correct your spelling
children
the
right and wrong, they can harm each other Correct article usage
apply
using
unkind words to others. Another Change preposition
by using
problems
is that they can easily spend on Replace the adjective
problem
screen
for hours and hours, which cause
some health issues. Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
For example
, a study demonstrated that young children
spend the
average of 4 hours on Correct article usage
an
screen
each day, and 40% of them complaint
Replace the word
complain
some
health Change preposition
of some
problems
such
as neck pain and vision issues. Therefore
, the absence of parents
while
children
using the internet
can be dangerous.
To conquer these problems
, parents
should control and teach them by giving them some boundries
. Correct your spelling
boundaries
Firstly
, providing education is crucial. They should openly communicate with their children
to not harm others using harrassing
words or comments on Correct your spelling
harassing
the
social media sites. Another solution to limiting Correct article usage
apply
screen
time
is that parents
should set the
Correct article usage
apply
rule
for their Fix the agreement mistake
rules
time
on a computer and encourage them to do some outside activities. For example
, my children
can access the internet
freely, however
, they always need to ask my permission before they use
, and using it only one hour per Correct pronoun usage
use it
a
day is our rule. We installed an automatic turn-off setting and the Correct article usage
apply
screen
shuts down after the
certain Correct article usage
a
time
. So that
, education is an important part of sorting the issues.
In conclusion, the Correct determiner usage
apply
primal
problem of Correct your spelling
primary
children
using the internet
bring
some risks Change the verb form
brings
of
their well-being and the main solution Change preposition
to
to
improve parental management Add a missing verb
is to
to
their Change preposition
of
children
outside of the
Correct article usage
apply
screen
time
.Submitted by chia.8ee on
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Grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors, as they can detract from the clarity of your arguments. For example, 'socialise without supervison' should be 'socialize without supervision', and 'complaint some health problems' should be 'complained of some health problems'.
Vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and make your arguments more convincing. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'problems', you could use 'issues', 'challenges', or 'difficulties'.
Content
It's beneficial to include more examples and evidence to support your arguments, making them more compelling. While you provided some, adding more detailed cases or statistics could strengthen your essay.
Introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and outlined what you will discuss, which sets a clear direction for your essay.
Structure
Your essay shows a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a logical flow of ideas.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the importance of the issue, which is a good practice.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?