IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #university #students #home #study #city
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that college
students
 in a few nations
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 with their
relative
Fix the agreement mistake
relatives
show examples
while
 they pursuing
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 is better than struggling alone
altough
Correct your spelling
although
 in other nations
students
 register
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
campuss
Correct your spelling
campus
campuses
 outside their city.
This
 essay is to give an opinion
between
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of living independently
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to living with relatives during the study period. In terms of accessing facilities and needs for learning outside the faculty area, living with family members will give the
students
 many benefits
such
 as time
efficient
Replace the word
efficiency
show examples
, expert guidance, and transfer knowledge activities are easy to get.
Moreover
, they can focus sharply on digesting material given by the teachers and gaining
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excellent
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
However
, they are quite awkward
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 solving their problems.
Difference
Add an article
The difference
show examples
 with
students
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to leave their homeland to go to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 area and
pursuing
Wrong verb form
pursue
show examples
 their degree apart from their family, they
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better character individually
due to
 they have to solve their own issues with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
seldom
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 from their closest person.
Nevertheless
, they act freely to choose what they want in life and sometimes it will bring them to unnecessary problems. In conclusion, living closer
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your family members when you are still studying in college is not an absolute advantage in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term
while
 deciding to live away from parents or
sibling
Fix the agreement mistake
siblings
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 significantly give you much trouble. It depends on how the
students
 optimize their situation and condition to solve their own problems. Both of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 will give the advantage if they can act wisely.
Submitted by ikramjeihan.bnc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

development
Be sure to fully develop your main points with specific examples. Including more detailed examples can help strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more vividly.
clarity
Work on clarity and precision in your writing. Try to express your ideas more clearly and concisely to improve comprehension and impact.
balance
Remember to address both sides of the argument throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. This will provide a more balanced perspective and help better fulfill the task requirements.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion.
balanced view
The essay demonstrates a good attempt at discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic.
conclusion
You concluded the essay with a thoughtful summary that reiterates the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: