what should young people do to contribute to the diversity and harmony of school environment.
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What works well
3You have a clear thesis statement and a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your essay.
Your essay shows a good level of coherence, with clear progression of ideas throughout.
Your ideas are relevant and you've made a commendable effort in presenting clear, comprehensive statements surrounding the importance of diversity and harmony in schools.
Improvement Suggestions
4Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
Try to diversify your linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
Although you've provided relevant examples, adding more varied and detailed instances can enrich your essay significantly.
Remember, for an even higher score, every paragraph should ideally contribute new information or perspectives directly related to the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.