Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

Some today feel that
university
students should focus completely on their studies,
while
others feel it is important to have diverse interests and
activities
. In my opinion, extracurriculars are a key part of the
university
experience. Those who advocate students dedicating themselves solely to academics can point out the singular learning opportunity. An undergraduate is typically paying large sums of money, burdening themselves with student debt in most cases, to become an expert in a given field.
This
is the only period in life they will have to study a single, chosen subject without the pressures of work. Freedom from a job allows them to invest fully in academics and learn the theories and skills that will form the basis of their entire professional career. Some would argue that there is little value in diluting
this
experience by taking on other responsibilities.
Nonetheless
, outside
activities
are
also
an important element of higher education. There are countless examples of successful individuals who joined a comedy or art club unrelated to their major and later ended up working in that field. Even those who do not receive
such
tangible rewards from their extracurriculars can learn a lot.
For example
, a student may opt to become involved with a local charity, or
university
initiative or work a part-time job. These will all be formative experiences and may be more memorable and useful for them than the subject they study. Many graduates today switch career paths soon after
university
regardless, so the respective value of these other
activities
will increase as they look back on their college experience and recognize what was truly instrumental in their development. In conclusion, though the
university
is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to focus on a single subject, I believe finding
activities
outside the classroom
also
has value. Students should prioritise academics but not ignore the full breadth of learning experiences.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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introduction and conclusion structure
Continue to include a clear introduction and conclusion to set the stage and wrap up your argument effectively.
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Use transitional phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make it more coherent.
elaboration and examples
Consider diversifying your examples and elaborating further on how extracurricular activities contribute to personal and professional development. This will enrich your argument and make your essay even more convincing.
balanced argument
You have clearly outlined your position with a well-structured argument both for and against the statement, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
use of examples
The inclusion of specific examples, such as the reference to individuals finding success in fields outside their major due to extracurricular activities, strengthens your argument.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes your argument easy to follow.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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