Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people's memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that these days a number of
people
can access the Use synonyms
Internet
Use synonyms
whereas
the constant availability of any information deteriorates Linking Words
individuals
' memory and crucial thinking skills. From my perspective, it seems convincing since the Use synonyms
internet
makes Use synonyms
people
have illnesses Use synonyms
such
as obesity and it deeply leads to a decrease in the growth of the economy.
Linking Words
To begin
with, I accept that the Linking Words
Internet
is one of the most considerable services around the world. First of all, writing an essay or confirming information like news can make us comfortable, and Use synonyms
people
do not have to get the information anymore. In Use synonyms
this
regard, Linking Words
individuals
can increase their morale of growth in their workforce and students can make their assignments faster by gathering data. Use synonyms
Secondly
, the Linking Words
Internet
is deeply associated with money because many Use synonyms
individuals
work on it through the Use synonyms
Internet
. Nowadays, there are a number of companies related to the Use synonyms
Internet
using it Use synonyms
as well
Linking Words
as
the Correct word choice
and
Internet
is being consumed by Use synonyms
people
, meaning that it is a unique opportunity to earn rising salaries. Use synonyms
For example
, there are big corporations in the USA Linking Words
such
as Apple, Amazon, and Instagram. which are the most valuable companies around the world, their services are used on the Linking Words
Internet
so they can make their profits rapidly.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, I am convinced that many scholars worry about using the Linking Words
Internet
since there are some terrible effects on humans' minds and bodies. Use synonyms
Firstly
, the Linking Words
internet
makes Use synonyms
people
obese because they tend not to move from their houses to access the Use synonyms
internet
and prefer spontaneously online society Use synonyms
instead
of activating outside. Their health would continuously deteriorate and it leads to passing away. Linking Words
Secondly
, the number of Linking Words
people
who want to stay online is related to the economy. Use synonyms
While
normal Linking Words
individuals
stay in their workplaces to earn salaries, they do not do anything because they are addicted to the Use synonyms
Internet
. Use synonyms
Also
, they do not pay taxes and it leads to depression in public facilities. Linking Words
For instance
, in Japan, there is a significant harmful issue called "Hikikomori", in which Linking Words
people
do not go out and stay continuously at home. Use synonyms
As a result
, Japan's economic growth is decreasing steadily since almost all of them do not work so taxes could not submitted.
In conclusion, the drawbacks that the Linking Words
internet
brings to both Use synonyms
people
and the authorities should not be underestimated.Use synonyms
Submitted by Rndlrdl
on
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Relevant Specific Examples
Try to provide more specific examples that directly relate to your arguments about memory and critical thinking.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows smoothly to the next. Transitions between ideas need to be strengthened.
Task Achievement
Make sure your arguments align closely with the essay prompt. Focus more on how the Internet affects memory and critical thinking, as asked in the question.
Introduction & Conclusion Present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that align well with the topic.
Complete Response
You have recognized the dual-sided impact of the Internet, discussing both positive and negative aspects.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.