Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter, - Give details of how you and your friends or family use the centre - Explain why the sports and leisure centre is important for the local community - Describe the possible effects on local people if the centre closes You should write at least 150 words.

#council #sports #leisure #centre #money #friends #community #effects #people

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you to bring to your attention

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the planned closure of the sports and leisure

centre

in town. It happens that it is the only working

centre

in the area, and many people from the town and the closest neighbourhood, including me and my family, visit it to do sports, shopping and other activities. There is another

centre

hovewer

Correct your spelling

however

, it is almost a two-hour drive,

hence

, by closing

this

one the majority of the local community will lose their chance and possibility to do sport exercises and meet their friends there.

Besides

, there are a lot of activities for children,

hence

, families with children will be affected the most because they will not be able to attend them

this

far from the town. I look forward to hearing from you and I hope that in the given circumstances the

centre

will not be closed. Yours faithfully, Natalia Kra

Submitted by natallia.khrenava on Tue Apr 09 2024

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Expanding Arguments

Make sure to expand on each key point, providing detailed examples or further explanation where possible, to strengthen your position.

Developing Complexity

Consider addressing potential counterarguments or solutions to show a well-rounded understanding of the issue.

Linking Words

To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.

Structure

Your letter is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making your arguments easy to follow.

Tone

You effectively use a formal and respectful tone throughout your letter, which is suitable for writing to a council.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

154 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure centre
foster social bonds
physical health
mental well-being
constructive activities
accessible
exercise
community spirit
public service
anti-social behavior
cost-saving measures
vital role
recreation
negative impact
forecast

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