Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be expensive in order to discourage people from travelling by air. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that the use of air transportation should be increased because it can make average
people
more well-being, while
others dismiss them as a
useless transportation for the environment. In Remove the article
apply
this
essay, the idea of the first group in terms of improving people
's comfort and the second perspective in terms of the inevitable consequences for
green spaces will be discussed.
Supporters assert that should airfares become inexpensive, the majority of society, especially the middle class of society, will take more trips by Change preposition
of
such
vehicles. Because such
people
are unable to pay for expensive plane tickets
due to
their low wages, and as a result
, the high price of tickets
discourages people
from travelling. Therefore
, if airline agencies reduce the cost of tickets
, people
will travel without a second thought. So, travelling by plane not only makes the trip comfortable and enjoyable,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
brings significant profits to the airlines.
On the other hand
, others put forward that although
reducing the cost of air travel is beneficial for average people
, it might have unavoidable effects on the environment. In fact, airplanes
emit a large volume of toxic fumes that noticeably contribute to air pollution. Change the spelling
aeroplanes
Hence
, the cheaper tickets
, the more flights and consequently
the more polluted environment we would have. In addition
, when flights become cheap, people
could travel to untouched places more and more which may destroy natural resources much faster.
In conclusion, although
welfare and reduction of side costs are necessary for ordinary people
, failure to pay attention and monitor the amount of gas produced by aeroplanes will have unavoidable effects on green areas.Submitted by hongminh317 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea followed by detailed examples or explanations. While you've provided a general overview, adding more concrete examples or data could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on your paragraph transitions. Use more connecting phrases to smooth the transition between paragraphs and within them to enhance flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider rephrasing sentences that may come off as confusing or overly complicated. Aim for clarity and simplicity in expressing your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a concluding summary that captured the essence of the discussion.
Task Achievement
You covered both views as required by the task, showing an understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?