IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be expensive in order to discourage people from travelling by air. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some argue that the use of air transportation should be increased because it can make average
people
Use synonyms
 more well-being,
while
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 others dismiss them as
a
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apply
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useless transportation for the environment. In
this
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 essay, the idea of the first group in terms of improving
people
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's comfort and the second perspective in terms of the inevitable consequences
for
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of
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 green spaces will be discussed. Supporters assert that should airfares become inexpensive, the majority of society, especially the middle class of society, will take more trips by
such
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 vehicles. Because
such
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people
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 are unable to pay for expensive plane
tickets
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due to
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 their low wages, and
as a result
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, the high price of
tickets
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 discourages
people
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 from travelling.
Therefore
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, if airline agencies reduce the cost of
tickets
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,
people
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 will travel without a second thought. So, travelling by plane not only makes the trip comfortable and enjoyable
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 brings significant profits to the airlines.
On the other hand
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, others put forward that
although
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 reducing the cost of air travel is beneficial for average
people
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, it might have unavoidable effects on the environment. In fact,
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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 emit a large volume of toxic fumes that noticeably contribute to air pollution.
Hence
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, the cheaper
tickets
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, the more flights and
consequently
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 the more polluted environment we would have.
In addition
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, when flights become cheap,
people
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 could travel to untouched places more and more which may destroy natural resources much faster. In conclusion,
although
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 welfare and reduction of side costs are necessary for ordinary
people
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, failure to pay attention and monitor the amount of gas produced by aeroplanes will have unavoidable effects on green areas.

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Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea followed by detailed examples or explanations. While you've provided a general overview, adding more concrete examples or data could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on your paragraph transitions. Use more connecting phrases to smooth the transition between paragraphs and within them to enhance flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider rephrasing sentences that may come off as confusing or overly complicated. Aim for clarity and simplicity in expressing your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a concluding summary that captured the essence of the discussion.
Task Achievement
You covered both views as required by the task, showing an understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Democratic travel
  • Global diversity
  • Economic benefits
  • Service sector
  • Educational travel
  • International relationships
  • Carbon emissions
  • Global warming
  • Climate crisis
  • Overtourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Cultural heritage
  • Sustainable aviation
  • Carbon offset
  • Global inequality
  • Airline industry
  • Economic downturn
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