Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Management of

societies

Use synonyms

to control populations are dynamic,

hence

Linking Words

changes are constantly required in order to guarantee equality.

Then

Linking Words

, some proponents argue that governments are in charge of improvements among communities,

while

Linking Words

opponents believe that people are

also

Linking Words

responsible for them. I staunchly agree that either governors or individuals must take care of their countries by working as peers. In my contention, I support both ideas.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is well-known that governments make rules and outlaw many others regularly in response to crimes, social issues, etc.

Then

Linking Words

, legislators try to control those detriments by declaring policies,

thus

Linking Words

avoiding or decreasing either major or minor crime.

For example

Linking Words

, "Transmilenio" is the least transportation used in Bogota, where hundreds of people are commuting every day and they should pay a minimum fare that was imposed by The Government.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, in case of not paying, there are some fines and punishments.

Hence

Linking Words

, politicians establish basic regulations to maintain basic order.

However

Linking Words

, education and high values are required in all

societies

Use synonyms

because individual manners guarantee peaceful and empathetic communities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, children should be taught not only by parents but

also

Linking Words

by teachers about the importance of following rules and being respectful.

For example

Linking Words

, in the same case in the aforementioned system of transportation, it has been proved that more than 60% of youngsters avoid paying the fee.

Consequently

Linking Words

, there should be a balance between

societies

Use synonyms

and governments.

To sum up

Linking Words

, creating and improving peaceful

societies

Use synonyms

with ethics and morals is a combined effort that should be done by ministers and persons, and both should recognize their importance and accomplish their respective functions.

luciaagudelomottaTue Apr 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Try to ensure your ideas are fully developed with more comprehensive examples or further explanation. This will strengthen the impact of your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing more effectively to enhance clarity and flow between ideas.

General

Double-check for minor grammar and vocabulary inaccuracies to further refine your writing.

Task Achievement

Your essay presents a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

The structure of your essay (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion) is clear and helps in presenting your argument logically.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

society
government
changes
influence
policies
laws
intervention
societal issues
collective action
progress
development
harmonious

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many artists are well supported by their governments, but some feel that this is a misuse of taxpayers’ money. Although many arts venues would have to cease operating without such funding, I feel that public healthcare is in more urgent need of the money.
6.5
band
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
After first imprisonment, a quantity of offenders show a tendency to recidivism and this urgent issue has sparked heated debates throughout the ruling class. In these forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss some of the main reasons and solutions to solve this problem promptly.
7.5
band
Some people argue that because the internet makes it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. Instead, they should focus on developing children’s skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There is a dramatic change in education brought about by the growing advancement of technology today. It has become a more contentious issue on how children should learn. Some adults believe that school should promote their skills and potential and relationships with others as they tend to rely on electric gadgets to gain much information by themselves. I generally disagree with this, for academic knowledge maintains its importance to make a better choice in the future.
6
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Economic progress is a priority for many governments. Meanwhile, some of the local citizens consider other kinds of progress as important as economic progress. I think that all types of progress are equal because citizen’s satisfaction doesn’t depend only on the finances of the country.
6.5
band
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
It is thought by some that the states should spend money on the art while others say it is better to use it to improve other parts in the countries. I strongly disagree with this viewpoint, the reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before a conclusion is reached.

Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?