Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

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Management of
societies
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to control populations are dynamic,
hence
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changes are constantly required in order to guarantee equality.
Then
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, some proponents argue that governments are in charge of improvements among communities,
while
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opponents believe that people are
also
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responsible for them. I staunchly agree that either governors or individuals must take care of their countries by working as peers. In my contention, I support both ideas.
To begin
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with, it is well-known that governments make rules and outlaw many others regularly in response to crimes, social issues, etc.
Then
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, legislators try to control those detriments by declaring policies,
thus
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avoiding or decreasing either major or minor crime.
For example
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, "Transmilenio" is the least transportation used in Bogota, where hundreds of people are commuting every day and they should pay a minimum fare that was imposed by The Government.
Otherwise
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, in case of not paying, there are some fines and punishments.
Hence
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, politicians establish basic regulations to maintain basic order.
However
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, education and high values are required in all
societies
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because individual manners guarantee peaceful and empathetic communities.
Furthermore
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, children should be taught not only by parents but
also
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by teachers about the importance of following rules and being respectful.
For example
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, in the same case in the aforementioned system of transportation, it has been proved that more than 60% of youngsters avoid paying the fee.
Consequently
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, there should be a balance between
societies
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and governments.
To sum up
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, creating and improving peaceful
societies
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with ethics and morals is a combined effort that should be done by ministers and persons, and both should recognize their importance and accomplish their respective functions.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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Task Achievement
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General
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion) is clear and helps in presenting your argument logically.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • society
  • government
  • changes
  • influence
  • policies
  • laws
  • intervention
  • societal issues
  • collective action
  • progress
  • development
  • harmonious
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