IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the past, when student did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? you should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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Trends of studying in their own country were common among the
students
Use synonyms
 pursuing a university degree. But, going abroad to
study
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 has become more popular and widely practised.
However
Linking Words
, there are both advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 notion and the essay will try to depict both views. Supporting in favour of advantages, it is a common belief that migrating to different
countries
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 in the world eliminates the barrier between two different nations and creates a strong bond through cultural exchanges.
Also
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,
students
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 get a chance to
study
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 with more facilities in their favourite sector as the universities of the developed
countries
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 are rich in types of equipment and other extensions in the field of education and research.
Moreover
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, those brightest minds who get the chance to
study
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 abroad mostly get full waivers which helps them to run their
study
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 smoothly. To cite an example,
countries
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 with top-ranking universities often offer plenty of scholarships and research funds to support future prodigies.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks regarding
students
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 moving from their motherland to abroad. The fact is that
,
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students
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 tend to settle in the
countries
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 they moved to if they find better opportunities.
This
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, in fact, creates an intellectual gap in their motherland as those less-developed
countries
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 continuously lose the meritorious people they had before.
As a result
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,
this
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 type of draining of would-be assets from a country creates a negative impact on the economy
as well as
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 the social activities
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also
Linking Words
.
For instance
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, Africa has lost a vast majority of talented people in recent years who are now shining in the different
countries
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 of Europe and America
while
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 Africa is suffering from a fragile economic condition. In conclusion, the tendency of
students
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 to move abroad to conduct higher studies has both merits and demerits. In fact,
countries
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 should be more careful about funding in the research sector in order to motivate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to settle down in their motherland in order to develop the country more effectively.

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task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the question, covering both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. To enhance this further, you can delve deeper into each point to add richness and detail to your discussion.
task response
Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. For improvement, try revisiting some points with additional examples or clarification to help support your ideas even more strongly.
coherence and cohesion
Make use of a variety of linking words throughout your essay to enhance cohesion. Despite the good general structure, ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next will further strengthen your coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Align your supporting points consistently with the main ideas. Some main points could benefit from more supporting detail or evidence to further validate your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
You have successfully included a well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly outlines the purpose and summary of the essay.
task response
Your essay efficiently incorporates relevant examples and evidence that support your main arguments, such as the example of scholarships and research funds.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is commendable, with well-organized paragraphs detailing each point of view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exposure
  • Educational quality
  • Language skills
  • Career opportunities
  • Global network
  • High costs
  • Homesickness
  • Cultural adjustment
  • Culture shock
  • Recognition of qualification
  • Language barrier
  • Prestigious institution
  • Employability
  • Education abroad
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