Some people think that children should aim to do their best at what they are doing while others believe it is not necessary for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In contemporary times, there exists a paramount emphasis on the education of
children
, eliciting a plethora of debates on the subject. Several individuals believe that children
should aim to work their best at what they are doing whereas
others oppose that it is unnecessary for them. Personally, in this
essay, I would like to discuss both sides in more detail before giving my opinion.
On one hand, it is crucial that the offspring should try their best to do everything that they are doing because not only does it help to form patient characters for children
, but it also
helps them to express the maximum of their abilities in all situations. For illustrate, many types of research have shown that successful people are those who never give up and pursue their goals to the end. Thus
, the children
are practised to do their best at what they are doing which will help them to form patient characters to face challenges and achieve their goals in the future.
On the other hand
, a number of people think that the purpose of making the best of every task in the present is not important for the offspring because they should have the freedom to do everything following their own ideas to build their independence skills which are very vital when they are adults. Moreover
, this
also
helps them to increase their creativity and explore what they want. For instance
, today, in my country, Vietnam, parents tend to let their offspring think and decide in freedom ways because they think that the children
will pay more attention and effort to what they are truly interested in and feel interested in.
In conclusion, although
both views have some validity, it seems to me that it is better to teach children
should aim to make the best of their abilities while
they are doing anything.Submitted by writingeilts on
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support
Remember to provide more specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned studies and the situation in Vietnam, adding concrete data or detailed scenarios would make your arguments more compelling.
grammar coherence
Be mindful of grammar and coherence in your writing. There were a few instances where sentence structure could be improved for clarity. For example, consider revising phrases like 'For illustrate' to 'For illustration' or 'For example'.
depth
To strengthen your essays, consider exploring counterarguments more deeply. This not only shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic but also allows you to reinforce your own stance by effectively rebutting these points.
structure
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
organization
You've done well in structuring your essay with logical paragraphs, each dedicated to discussing a viewpoint.
opinion support
Your personal opinion is clear and supported by preceding arguments, which is good practice in such essays.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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