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Band 8

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #choices
No one can dispute the fact about freedom of choice-making in today’s society. Even a large fraction of individuals indicate that humans nowadays possess a wide range of choices, and the following essay will display some reasons for my argument. One of the most conspicuous causes of my support is the equivalence between males and females.
This
 means that women today can make an option for jobs which exclusively men did in the past.
Furthermore
, girls have the right to receive higher education in whatever majors they are interested in. Compared to the early years,
for instance
, women were forced to quit their studies
due to
 harsh stereotypes that women had to undergo.
However
, now global governments are raising their voices to protect female equal rights. Another pivotal reason behind the choices we have is human beings’ opened minds which have drastically changed over eras. If children had to listen to their parents’ arrangements in the past, they would have no choice but to follow marriage arrangements.
Nevertheless
, things have shifted when modern fathers and mothers no longer put their kids under strain for the sake of enforcing them to obey their will. In fact, they are increasingly encouraging their children to pursue their dreams or happiness on their own feet. Korea is a typical country of demolishing parental arrangements over marriage or career choice, rather than that they use movies, delivering a meaningful message of human rights, to let young people make their own options. In conclusion, I would reaffirm that people in
this
 era have more choices than those living in the past
due to
 the demolition of strict stereotypes and open-minded parents.
Submitted by aitam.dothi on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and add sophistication to your writing.
Task Achievement
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, try to refine them so they make a more impactful statement that immediately captures your reader's interest.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of examples, including more current and diverse ones, to support your arguments. This could help in demonstrating a broader understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You have provided a clear argument throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent stance on the topic, which contributes positively to your task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows good organization with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas, which positively affects your score in coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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