Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes argued that parents should convince their kids to take the time to do physical activities rather than study. Personally, I completely agree with the statement for several reasons which will be given out in

this

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essay. First and foremost, it can be said with certainty that regular physical exercises are essential for maintaining both mental and physical condition. By

this

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, I mean that doing these could lead to better sleep patterns, promoting deeper and restful sleep, and positively impacting mental strength.

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, engaging in physical activities promotes

overall

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physical well-being, as offspring participate in sports and exercises, thereby reducing the risk of obesity and related health issues.

For instance

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, in Asia, where kids spend most of their time studying, developing the risk of health problems, often resulting in sleep deprivation and stress.

Therefore

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, it is essential for parents to support their children in balancing between studying and staying healthy.

Secondly

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, a special consideration is that joining a team sport would allow kids to develop important social skills. The main basis is probably because a team sport would offer increased opportunities to meet new people, creating environments for children to communicate, cooperate and engage in teamwork. To illustrate

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, consider the case of badminton, there are two individuals in one team, highlighting the significance of cooperation and teamwork in securing the top prize.

Therefore

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, the advantages of doing physical activities far outweigh those of studying. In conclusion, I strongly believe parents should encourage children to be aware of spending more time exercising

due to

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the benefits of fitness and social skills.

miatr.workMon Oct 30 2023

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example diversity

While your essay demonstrates a high level of proficiency, always ensure that your examples are diverse and not only region-specific. Broadening your examples can make your arguments more universally applicable and engaging.

Use of evidence

To further enrich your essay, consider integrating direct quotes from reputable sources, or citing specific studies or statistics. This can enhance the credibility of your argument and exhibit a wider range of knowledge.

Vocabulary Enhancement

Experimenting with a slightly wider range of vocabulary related to the topic can add depth to your essay. While your current use is already impressive, varying your language more could make your writing even more captivating.

Structure

Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs with supporting details, and a strong conclusion, making it easy to follow and understand.

Task Achievement

You did a great job of directly addressing the essay question and sticking closely to the topic throughout your response, reflecting a high degree of task achievement.

Effective Examples

Your use of specific examples, like the reference to Asia and the sport of badminton, effectively illustrates your points, making your argument more persuasive.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

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Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

All companies should provide sports and social facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

some say that one of the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others

children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shipping. Is this a positive or a negative ?