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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#countries #phone #apps #development
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A trend
that is
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 spreading throughout many nations is the usage of smartphone applications for payment processing. There are some drawbacks to
this
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 trend, but they are outweighed by a number of benefits. One advantage of using mobile
phone
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apps
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 for making
payments
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 is convenience. With their smartphone,
individuals
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 can make purchases and
payments
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 from anywhere, at any time.
This
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 is particularly useful for
individuals
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 who do not carry cash or credit cards with them, or who prefer not to use these methods of payment.
Additionally
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, mobile
phone
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payments
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 can be faster and more efficient than other methods, as there is no need to wait for a card to be approved or for change to be given. Another upside of mobile
phone
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payments
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 is the ability to track and manage expenses. Many of these
apps
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 allow users to keep track of their spending and create budgets, helping them to manage their finances more effectively.
This
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 can be especially useful for
individuals
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 who want to record their spending or who are trying to save money.
Nevertheless
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, there are
also
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 negatives to using mobile
phone
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apps
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 for
payments
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, and the main one is the risk of security breaches. With cellular
payments
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, there is a risk of fraud or identity theft, as personal and financial information is being transmitted over the internet. It is important for
individuals
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 to be aware of
this
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 risk and to take steps to protect their personal and financial information when using these
apps
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. In conclusion, the use of mobile
phone
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apps
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 for making
payments
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 has both advantages and disadvantages.
Overall
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, the convenience, efficiency, and financial management capabilities of mobile
payments
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 are more convincing than the potential security risks.
However
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, it is recommended that users take steps to protect personal and financial information when using
this
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 payment method.
Submitted by amandacflago23 on

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Development
Try to incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This could include statistics, real-world examples, or personal experiences that demonstrate the advantages and disadvantages of mobile payments.
Ideas
While your essay is well-structured, exploring a wider range of ideas could enhance your argument. Consider the social, economic, and possibly cultural effects of mobile payments to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
Specificity
Ensuring the protection of personal and financial information is indeed crucial. Further elaboration on how users can protect themselves or how apps are evolving to enhance security could make your argument stronger.
Structure
Excellent structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that logically present your argument.
Clarity
Your essay effectively presents the convenience and efficiency of mobile payments as major advantages, which is succinctly explained and easy to understand.
Critical Thinking
You have successfully identified a key concern regarding mobile payments - security. Your acknowledgment of this issue adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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