These days many families move abrod for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Other believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of families, who went to overseas countries to live. Some
people
think that Use synonyms
this
situation is more effective for their children because they would be able to earn more money and have a better life, whilst others believe that living in a different country would make their lives harder because it is not easy to survive in a completely different culture. I totally agree with the first group, because I believe that Linking Words
people
can adapt themselves if they work hard enough.
First of all, lots of families would like to move abroad to have better jobs and earn more money. Use synonyms
Therefore
, not only the parents but Linking Words
also
their kids will have better opportunities, Linking Words
such
as a safer environment, a qualified neighbourhood, and higher education. Linking Words
For example
, if those Linking Words
people
have occupations with higher standards, they can make their children go to private schools which give more qualified education. At the same time, it affects those adolescents' future choices and chances in a better way, because they can have a profession with more money if they are educated well.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, the other part of the Linking Words
people
think that living in a different culture with foreign individuals makes their lives more difficult. Use synonyms
Moreover
, those parents' children will be discriminated against by native juveniles unless they can not assimilate. Linking Words
For example
, teenagers don't have friends even if they go to a good school Linking Words
due to
the lack of communication skills. Because of that, it is important to learn a new language and culture. Linking Words
Furthermore
, they should Linking Words
have
some adjustments about themselves to have good opportunities to be successful as a foreigner.
In conclusion, some men and women believe that it is hard to work in another country for both the parents and their kids. In my opinion, there might be some difficulties, but they can make it easier by working hard if they have enough courage and ambition.Verb problem
make
Submitted by bloodylady on
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task achievement
Your main points are clear and comprehensive, but some examples could be more specific and detailed to better support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the transition between paragraphs. Although your essay has a good logical structure, linking words and phrases could make the text flow more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively outlines the main points of the essay, setting up a clear structure for your argumentation.
complete response
You provide a balanced discussion of both views before giving your opinion in the conclusion.