Some people think that children at school should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be spent on learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Several individuals believe that the science of
food
and the way to prepare it should be taught at school Use synonyms
while
others believe that Linking Words
children
should learn crucial lessons during class Use synonyms
time
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I shall discuss both sides in more detail before giving my opinion.
On one hand, there are some reasons to make people think that Linking Words
children
should spend Use synonyms
time
at school to learn Use synonyms
food
science and practice it. Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
food
provides both advantages and disadvantages for their health. Use synonyms
Thus
, if Linking Words
children
comprehend fully Use synonyms
food
, they can make the best of its nutritious values and avoid harmful effects. Use synonyms
Additionally
, Linking Words
children
who are trained to set up Use synonyms
food
get more independence. Use synonyms
This
is a useful skill to survive when they are adults and live alone. To illustrate, if a child does not know the mixture of honey and tofu transforms into a chemical toxic. Linking Words
This
can lead a death when he or she eats it.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, a number of people agree that Linking Words
children
should spend Use synonyms
time
at the academy to learn important subjects. Because not only does it help them to focus on their goal of education, but it Use synonyms
also
helps them to increase the likelihood of enrolling a certain university. Linking Words
For instance
, If a child wants to become a doctor, he or she will prioritize Linking Words
time
to focus on the main subjects which are related to medical majors.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that it is better to have a balance to allocate learning sessions to main subjects, and the science of Linking Words
food
and how to prepare it. Because each subject plays a unique role in the life of Use synonyms
children
.Use synonyms
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Expression Clarity
Ensure to take care of minor inaccuracies in your expressions. Phrases like 'This can lead a death when he or she eats it' could be rephrased for clarity and accuracy. A better example might be, 'This could lead to death if consumed'
Linking Words
Consider using a wider range of linking phrases to enhance the fluidity between ideas and paragraphs. While your essay has a good structure, incorporating linking phrases like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', or 'Consequently' can make transitions more seamless.
Use of Examples
Remember to utilize examples effectively. While your illustration about the mixture of honey and tofu adds to your argument, providing more specific, real-life examples could enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your points.
Task Achievement
You have effectively discussed both views before stating your own opinion, which aligns with the requirements of the task.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a solid framework for your essay.
Supported Main Points
The main points in your essay are well-supported and contribute to a coherent argument throughout.