As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society?

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As countries develop, their nations tend to live alone or in small family units.
This
is because of the improved quality of education
increased
Correct word choice
and increased
show examples
cost of living.
However
,
due to
this
trend,
theh
Correct your spelling
the
they
birth
rate
among young individuals and interactions between neighbours
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased significantly.
To begin
with, compared to the past, more people are entering universities and studying
further
. To be specific, the more people are educated, the more they choose to pursue their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
rather than being married or having children.
Furthermore
, increased cost of living
also
plays a key role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
forming
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smaller family units. For
examply
Correct your spelling
example
, the youth are reluctant to have a child as it costs a fortune to raise a son or a daughter.
However
,
due to
these factors, there are several impacts on society. First of all, the
rate
of
birth
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramatically declined in recent decades. Notably, in South Korea, the
birth
rate
was 0.03% in 2023 and various experts and press criticized that it was mainly
due to
the ambition of achievement in professions.
Secondly
, people do not interact with their neighbours anymore.
For instance
, a notable survey conducted by Korea
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
revealed that about 80% of the city residents answered that they had never talked to their neighbours.
Hence
, communication between modern dwellers has been dramatically decreased.
To conclude
, indeed more and more
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
opt for living individually or
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
small family units as a country experiences
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
. The major causes of
this
phenomenon are the increased number of well-educated individuals and the cost of living. Because of these factors,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society illustrates
decreased
Correct article usage
a decreased
show examples
birth
rate
and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of communication opportunities between residents.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is expanded with specific details for stronger coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the question. Consider comparing and contrasting different viewpoints for a more comprehensive discussion.
task achievement
Incorporate more real-world examples to support your arguments, providing evidence that strengthens your analysis of the causes and effects.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both the causes and effects of the trend towards living alone or in small family units.
task achievement
You've used relevant statistics and examples (e.g., South Korea's birth rate), which adds credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, clearly presents your arguments and makes your essay easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • migration
  • limited living space
  • economic independence
  • nuclear families
  • social norms
  • isolation
  • mental health issues
  • real estate market
  • housing shortages
  • social care
  • extended family networks
  • public provision
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