As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society?

#countries #populations #units #trend #effects #society

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As countries develop, their nations tend to live alone or in small family units.

This

is because of the improved quality of education

increased

Correct word choice

and increased

show examples

cost of living.

However

due to

this

trend,

theh

Correct your spelling

the

they

birth

rate

among young individuals and interactions between neighbours

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decreased significantly.

To begin

with, compared to the past, more people are entering universities and studying

further

. To be specific, the more people are educated, the more they choose to pursue their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

rather than being married or having children.

Furthermore

, increased cost of living

also

plays a key role

Change preposition

show examples

forming

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smaller family units. For

examply

Correct your spelling

example

, the youth are reluctant to have a child as it costs a fortune to raise a son or a daughter.

However

due to

these factors, there are several impacts on society. First of all, the

rate

birth

has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

dramatically declined in recent decades. Notably, in South Korea, the

birth

rate

was 0.03% in 2023 and various experts and press criticized that it was mainly

due to

the ambition of achievement in professions.

Secondly

, people do not interact with their neighbours anymore.

For instance

, a notable survey conducted by Korea

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

revealed that about 80% of the city residents answered that they had never talked to their neighbours.

Hence

, communication between modern dwellers has been dramatically decreased.

To conclude

, indeed more and more

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

opt for living individually or

Correct your spelling

show examples

small family units as a country experiences

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

. The major causes of

this

phenomenon are the increased number of well-educated individuals and the cost of living. Because of these factors,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society illustrates

decreased

Correct article usage

a decreased

show examples

birth

rate

and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of communication opportunities between residents.

Submitted by aahhyu111 on Thu Apr 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is expanded with specific details for stronger coherence.

coherence cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the question. Consider comparing and contrasting different viewpoints for a more comprehensive discussion.

task achievement

Incorporate more real-world examples to support your arguments, providing evidence that strengthens your analysis of the causes and effects.

task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses both the causes and effects of the trend towards living alone or in small family units.

task achievement

You've used relevant statistics and examples (e.g., South Korea's birth rate), which adds credibility to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, clearly presents your arguments and makes your essay easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urbanization
migration
limited living space
economic independence
nuclear families
social norms
isolation
mental health issues
real estate market
housing shortages
social care
extended family networks
public provision

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As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

For celebrities and other famous people, it is always good ot be talked about ni the media (e.g. Internet, newspapers, TV). Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?