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Band 7.5

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environments #pole #development
Secluded and distant territories,
such
 as the South Pole, conceal massive undiscovered mysteries and phenomena that captivate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientists to investigate. Not only do scientists find it appealing, but its magnificent landscape and wildlife diversity
also
 draw numerous voyagers.
This
 situation obviously engenders potential consequences if left unsupervised. Conducting research in
such
 an extraordinary environment is fundamental given that
this
 region keeps questionably evolving.
This
 research is crucial for advancing our understanding of global environmental changes and for developing strategies to adapt to those alterations, in order to sustain the earth's environment and address the likelihood of upcoming natural destruction.
On the other hand
, travellers are
also
 intrigued to explore its uniqueness, driving their desire for sensational adventure by witnessing superb landscapes of massive icebergs, pristine wilderness and experiencing extreme weather
that is
 unparalleled and undiscovered in other realms. A prime drawback that we are facing at the moment is the pollution issue that occurs during the voyage. Commuting by ship generates oil spills and sewage that contaminate marine life and water quality, which disrupts the habitat of local inhabitants.
Additionally
, the influx of footsteps on
ice
 alters the structure of the
ice
, turning it into denser and more compact. Compaction on
ice
 results in higher absorption of sunlight than its reflection, leading to
further
 accelerating
ice
 melting. For these reasons, it is essential to restrict the number of visitors in order to mitigate its harmful impact on the ecosystem. Ultimately, the South Pole is an alluring destination because of its exceptional landscapes and surroundings that consistently fascinate both scientists and tourists.
However
,
due to
 the significant damages associated with travelling to
this
 region, a strict policy is essential to safeguard its well-being.
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Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, try to develop a more balanced discussion on both advantages and disadvantages. Although you've addressed both sides, further elaboration on the scientific and tourist perspectives would strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider varying your transitional phrases and ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Using a wider range of linking words can enhance the readability of your essay.
Introduction
The essay introduces the topic effectively, providing a clear overview of the discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of traveling to remote environments like the South Pole.
Supporting Examples
You have provided specific examples to support your points, such as the environmental impact of tourists and the importance of research in these regions, which strengthens your essay.
Conclusion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and asserts a balanced view on the necessity of policies to protect these regions, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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