IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think students can evaluate their teachers while others think it may have some bad effects discuss. Do you agree or disagree?

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A group of people believe
teachers
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 can be evaluated by
students
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while
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 other groups of citizens assume
this
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 method might cause negative consequences. I think
students
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 have to have a chance to evaluate their educators because it will increase their learning skills and
also
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 help them to stop some unforeseen issues.
To begin
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 with,
teachers
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 are the most vital factor for the education system because they have to provide and share information with scholars, so they have to have some special aspects in their occupation,
such
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 as good communication skills and being tolerant with the youth. These skills will make
students
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 able to connect with the context in the best way.
However
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, if
students
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 do not find these options , gradually they will lose their sprite and will not be able to achieve their goals,
as a result
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, it is important to provide an opportunity for the young
population
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 to share their opinion about the personality of
teachers
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 to feel safe and be motivated to continue their education.
For instance
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, in some schools around rural areas in Iran, because of a lack in
teachers
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 position the government provided a new generation to start their job in teaching,
nonetheless
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, a large number of that
population
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 were actually not qualified enough and the
students
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 were not allowed to discuss their problems,
as a result
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, in the long-term the scholars
population
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 decreased in rural areas.
On the other hand
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, there might be a group of people that do not follow
this
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 view because they think the youth generation might report fake information and try to destroy that teacher occupation.
However
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, I do not support
this
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 view, there might be some fake information but when the number of reports increases the authorities can start monitoring that
population
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's behaviours and prevent some additional problems,
such
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 as escape from learning or learning disorder. In conclusion, I believe, scholars have to evaluate their educators because they can have an impact on their lives and their future
also
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 it could provide for the young
population
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this
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 chance to prevent some problems that might be caused by a number of inexperienced
teachers
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.

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Example specificity
Ensure that the examples given are specific and detailed enough to strongly support your argument. While the example about rural areas in Iran is relevant, providing more concrete details or statistical data could enhance its effectiveness.
Transitional phrases
Consider using a wider range of transition words or phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can improve the overall coherence of your essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
Logical Structure
You have a logical structure, organizing your arguments coherently with a clear progression of ideas.
Task Response
You successfully addressed the essay topic, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion, which aligns well with the task requirements.
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