IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions
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The first pie chart illustrates the average amount of
energy
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in Australian
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
. The following one depicts the emissions of greenhouse gas which is the consequence of
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 heating occupies the most of both charts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the first graph, cooling and lightning
use
Use synonyms
 the least
energy
Use synonyms
 where lightning is twice as much as cooling.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in the second graph, these two factors are the lowest ones,
however
Linking Words
, lightning is almost three times more than cooling.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the graph of
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
, heating is slightly more than the water heating section, making them the most used ones.
Moreover
Linking Words
, refrigeration uses six times
lower
Correct word choice
less
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 than heating.
Also
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 of water heating is twice as much as that of other types of equipment.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in the chart of greenhouse emissions, water heating is the double of heating.
In addition
Linking Words
, emissions of other tools are two-fold more than refrigeration.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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