Some people think that students should study in their own city. However, many students prefer to study far away from their home. Do the advantages of studying away from home outweigh the disadvantages
There is no denying that after finishing schooling, students pursue their higher education overseas and
this
trend is followed everywhere. Many students support this
idea as it provides great benefits for their overall
growth. On the other hand
, some folks think they should stay in their city and study. In my perspective studying away from home brings numerous advantages. In the upcoming paragraphs, I am going to talk about both aspects.
To Commence with its positive side, youngsters who study far away from their families develop independence which helps them understand the real picture of society at an early age. Let's take an example to explain, a student starts taking their responsibilities from renting a house to paying their own bills. For instance
, one of my friends Parry who is studying in Canada manages everything for himself. Moving forward, students living on campus get the opportunity of easy access to the class materials at the library and are also
able to arrange meetings for group study at flexible times. Furthermore
, they get the chance to learn about new cultures which broadens
their mindset
Change the verb form
broaden
On the other hand
, there are some downsides that make it a bit problematic, as living apart from their families brings duties on their shoulders which can impact their education as they have to take care of their daily chores. To be more clear, living with the family provides you security and one can better concentrate their education without stressing about food, rent and bills. The other disadvantage is that staying alone can sometimes bring your morale down and feel depressed because your parents' emotional support is not available there.
In conclusion,it is clear that
there are pros and cons to staying in another city for educational purposes. I think that making the decision wisely is very important. As it brings numerous benefits, one cannot ignore its negative aspects. But Overall
, it is overweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by harshitkaur321 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more dynamic.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While the example of your friend Parry studying in Canada is good, adding more detailed instances or statistical data can provide stronger support for your claims.
General
Remember to proofread your essay to avoid minor grammatical errors and typos. These small mistakes can distract from your message, even if they don't heavily impact your overall grade.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, clearly stating your viewpoint and summarizing the main arguments.
Task Response
The essay provides a well-balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of studying away from home, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your organization of paragraphs and the logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next showcase your ability in structuring an essay effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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