IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't.what's your opinion?'

#food #countries #trend
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In recent decades, dietary preferences have transformed. With the rise of fast
food
, the question of whether fast
food
 offers a beneficial trend for modern
people
 has been a matter of considerable debate.
While
 some argue that fast
food
 is a positive trend
due to
 its affordability and accessibility, others believe it poses serious risks to health and culture. In my opinion, fast
food
 has both advantages and drawbacks, and it is crucial to strike a balance between the two.
Firstly
, one of the main advantages of fast
food
 is its convenience. In today's fast-paced world, many
people
 have busy schedules and do not have time to cook elaborate meals. Fast
food
 offers a quick and easy solution, allowing
people
 to grab a meal on the go.
Moreover
, fast
food
 chains often offer affordable options, making fast
food
 accessible to a wide range of
people
.
This
 accessibility can be particularly important for low-income individuals and families.
However
, it is an undeniable fact that the rise of fast
food
 presents significant concerns. Fast
food
 is often high in calories, saturated fats, and sugar, which can lead to health issues
such
 as obesity and heart disease.
Additionally
, the widespread availability of fast
food
 can contribute to the decline of traditional
food
 cultures, as
people
 may choose fast
food
 over local cuisine. In conclusion,
while
 fast
food
 can provide convenience and accessibility, it is essential to be mindful of its potential negative effects on health and culture. Striking a balance by consuming fast
food
 in moderation and supporting local
food
 traditions can help mitigate these concerns and promote a healthier lifestyle.
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task achievement
To enhance the relevance and specificity of your examples, including statistics or specific studies about the effects of fast food on health would strengthen your argument. For instance, you could mention research on obesity rates in countries with high fast food consumption.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured and cohesive, using more varied transitional phrases could further improve the flow between your ideas. Try incorporating phrases like 'However,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Furthermore.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, with a concise introduction, body paragraphs that provide well-supported points, and a strong conclusion.
task achievement
You've successfully addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective on the topic.
task achievement
Your language use is precise and clear, making your points easy to understand.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Convenience foods
  • Nutritional value
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Culinary diversity
  • Economic footprint
  • Modern lifestyle
  • Aggressive marketing
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Health repercussions
  • Dietary habits
  • Affordability
  • Processed ingredients
  • Mass-produced
  • Consumer behavior
  • Health-conscious
  • Food sovereignty
  • Transnational corporations
  • Public health initiatives
  • Sustainable eating
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