IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

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When compared with the current generation, the previous generation's buildings are so comfortable and liveable for the public who stayed in the past centuries because the
last
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 generation has a less number of population and the building size is generally huge. To resolve
this
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 issue,
people
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 can renovate their houses with modern technology and modern furniture. Starting with the problem point of view, in the current scenario, the population of every country has increased drastically when it was compared past decade. Apart from that, these days buying land to construct a small
house
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, made it impossible for
people
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 who are living below the poverty line, and others who earn an average income, might afford the down payment on their home loan, but the rest of their lives they need to pay only for housing loan
instead
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 of reserving their
money
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.
As a result
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, they cannot save for their family purpose.
For example
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, most data analysts found that citizens in
this
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 century have started to save cash from their school level to buy a residence in the future.
On the other hand
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,
instead
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 of buying a new
house
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, they can renovate their old
house
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 with modern design. Nowadays,
people
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 are more aware of family situations and
money
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 .
Hence
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, the head of the family member will re-construct the
house
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 with various technology and furniture.
As a result
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, they can live without having the financial burden on their mind and they can live as like as they want to live.
Besides
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, they can
also
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 save
money
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 for their retirement and family commitments.
For instance
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, almost every financial expert said that
people
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 are saving a tremendous amount of
money
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 when compared with the
last
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 decade. In conclusion, because of the sudden population rise,
people
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 cannot afford the necessary expenses. Fortunately,
people
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 started to re-construct their belongings with more features at less cost.
As a consequence
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,
this
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 helped them to manage the inflation level and cost of living of the family.

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Introduction
Try to directly address the given topic in your introduction to ensure clarity from the start.
Development of Ideas
Make sure to develop your ideas fully, connecting them clearly to the question and providing in-depth analysis or examples.
Paragraph Structure
Consider organizing your essay in clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point or argument to enhance readability.
Vocabulary
Use a wide range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
Sentence Structure
Work on sentence structure to vary the complexity and type of sentences, making your writing more interesting and engaging.
Relevance
Tapped into relevant issues surrounding the challenges of living in cities built for a different era.
Solution Orientation
You've managed to suggest practical solutions to the outlined problems, showing good problem-solving skills.
Structure
Introduced the topic and provided a conclusion, thus ensuring the essay is structurally complete.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • housing shortages
  • degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • energy efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • accessibility
  • sustainable urban planning
  • smart city technologies
  • green technology
  • regulations
  • sustainable
  • integrated
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian
  • cycling infrastructure
  • reliance
  • mitigate
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