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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for childern development while other think that it is crucial for childern if they go to the school. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, it is the paramount responsibility of children to be taught perfectly to preserve their future.
Hence
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, numerous people certainly argue that the young generation supposedly facilitated learning at home rather than in educational institutions.
This
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 essay is ultimately going to elaborate on both aforementioned issues and provide my view on them. On the one hand, a number of proponents believe that a home, which is an excellent facility can definitely broaden kids' horizons. It is inevitable that parents are going to consider themself as an adorable teacher for their children;
moreover
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, they
also
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 confidently believe that they know the best way to train their kids.
For instance
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, they will engage in cutting-edge technology,
such
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 as the Internet, to elevate young teenagers' knowledge, which is unable provided by a school.
On the other hand
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, the opponents strongly contemplate that an educational place is the best option to train pupils mentally and physically. It is noticeable that a school must unquestionably have superb curricula which are tailored to those aspects.
For example
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, exercise subjects are intended to stimulate kids' health,
while
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 other modules play an essential role in boosting students' cognitive.
As a result
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, there is a strong argument that a formal institution is more reliable to provide a good education for teenagers than parents do at home.
To sum up
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, it is debatable that two various approaches reveal different perspectives taking into account young people's education.
Nonetheless
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, from my point of view,
this
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 is going to be better if those methods can be integrated.

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Content Depth
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay discusses the general benefits of home and institutional education, incorporating concrete examples or studies would enhance your argument's credibility.
Language Variety
Try to vary your sentence structures more to improve readability and engagement. While your essay is cohesive, the use of a wider variety of sentence constructions could make your writing more dynamic.
Grammar & Spelling
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos. Even though your overall argument is clear and well-structured, small inaccuracies can distract readers from your main points.
Balanced Discussion
You've done a great job presenting both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion essay.
Structure
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is excellent for the essay's logical flow.
Critical Thinking
Providing a nuanced viewpoint that suggests integrating both education methods is a strong conclusion that reflects critical thinking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Customized learning experience
  • Tailor the curriculum
  • In-depth understanding
  • Flexible schedule
  • Learning at their own pace
  • Crucial social skills
  • Structured learning
  • Set curriculum
  • Trained teachers
  • Social and emotional development
  • Interaction with peers
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Well-rounded education
  • Diverse talents
  • Holistic growth
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