The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of crime in Machester city centre from 2003-2012.
The line chart presents the rate changes in three categories of criminality in New Port city
center
in Change the spelling
centre
9-
Correct article usage
a 9-year
year
given period, The areas of the crime
actions were burglary, car theft and robbery
.
By looking at the line graph, it can be assumed that the crime
rates
of burglary saw a significant decline before Fix the agreement mistake
rate
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
leveled
off over the Change the spelling
levelled
last
four years. On the other hand
, a fluctuation movement happened on
the car theft category Change preposition
in
trough
the 9-Correct your spelling
through
year
period. Meanwhile
the rate of Add a comma
Meanwhile,
robbery
experienced a
stability for the whole period from 2003 to 2012.
Remove the article
apply
Although
The rates
of Fix the agreement mistake
rate
crime
for Burglary rose slightly between 2003 and 2004, it fell down
dramatically in the second Change preposition
apply
year
until the year
of 2008. The crime
yet rose slowly before it remained the same by 2011 and dipped slightly by 2012. Moreover
, the crime
rates
of car theft showed a decline Fix the agreement mistake
rate
although
it had a stability
Replace the word
stable
rates
during the first and second year
before it went down in the third Fix the agreement mistake
years
year
and reached the lowest rates
before it slightly rose in 2007. Two years later, it recovered and experienced a fluctuation growth in the Fix the agreement mistake
rate
last
four years until 2012.
On the other hand
, the criminal rates
of robbery
started at above 500 number of
incidents which was the lowest Correct quantifier usage
apply
rates
and witnessed a slow incline during the first two Fix the agreement mistake
rate
year
. Change to a plural noun
years
Furthermore
, the number of robbery
incidents had its peak in 2005 before it slightly fell down from 2005 to 2008 and saw a slow rise in 2010, Wrong verb form
ending
ended
at the same number as it began in 2012.Wrong verb form
ending
Submitted by stevvileny on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, last, on the other hand".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, robbery, rates, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stability" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 4 times.
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