IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that art lessons, such as painting and drawing lessons, are as important as other subjects and should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, the comprehensive development of
students
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 has received increasing attention and is now a central focus in secondary
education
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. Some argue that
art
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classes
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 play an equally important role as other core
subjects
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 and should be made mandatory in
schools
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.
While
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 I do not agree with
this
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 point of view, I believe that
schools
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 should make
such
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 lessons optional.
Art
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education
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 plays a vital role in fostering
students
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’ creativity and enhancing their imaginative thinking. Unlike traditional academic
subjects
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 that often have fixed answers,
art
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classes
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 provide a more flexible and open-ended environment, allowing/encouraging
students
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 to explore different perspectives with new ideas.
Moreover
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,
art
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classes
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 can help
students
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 relieve stress and promote mental well-being. Through engaging in artistic activities
such
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 as drawing, and sculpting,
students
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 are encouraged to express their emotions and thoughts in unique and original ways. These forms of expression provide/offer/serve as valuable alternatives for emotional release, especially among those who prefer non-verbal expression/communication. From an educational perspective, offering a broad and balanced curriculum is essential to ensure the holistic development of
students
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. When
students
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 participate in a wide/diverse range of
subjects
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such
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 as sciences, physics, and
art
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education
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, they gain more opportunities to discover their interests and potential.
This
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 exposure enables them to develop a wide array of skills and ultimately become well-rounded individuals.
However
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,
this
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 does not mean that every subject must be compulsory. Rather, flexibility in course selection allows learners to tailor their
education
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according to
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 their strengths and long-term goals.
On the other hand
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, making
art
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classes
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such
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 as painting and drawing
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
compulsory may not be practical for all
students
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, as these skills are not essential for the majority of
students
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 after graduation. For many, especially those pursuing careers in science, finance, and engineering, time spent on mandatory
art
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classes
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 could be better allocated to/invested in other
subjects
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 more relevant to their future goals.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 without a natural interest or talent in the arts may feel unnecessary pressure, which could negatively affect their
overall
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 academic performance.
Additionally
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, opportunities to explore
art
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 are not limited to school settings, there are
also
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 more available options for
students
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 to experience it
such
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 as
art
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 galleries or
after school
Add a hyphen
after-school
show examples
art
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 clubs. In conclusion,
while
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art
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education
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 has undeniable value in fostering creativity and emotional well-being, it should not be made compulsory in secondary
schools
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. Offering
art
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 as an optional subject ensures that
students
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 can pursue their individual interests
while
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 allowing
schools
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 to maintain a balanced and focused curriculum.

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task achievement
The response could have included more specific examples or details to support the points made, which would strengthen the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying sentence structures and using more cohesive devices to improve the flow of paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and argument throughout, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points and establish a clear stance on the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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