IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that the holistic development of a child could be done by educating them at home
while
Linking Words
 others opine that educational centers are best for it. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the benefits of both perspectives and give my opinion. On the one hand, if learner stay at home and study will benefit them by being goal-oriented as they will not be distracted by their peers.
For example
Linking Words
, a lot of
students
Use synonyms
 prefer to go to school to spend time with their friends and play with them without concentrating on their studies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
 save time for them
that is
Linking Words
 consumed
while
Linking Words
 travelling to school. Even parents can take care of their children with respect to their diet and daily activities by setting a schedule to enhance their
overall
Linking Words
 growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , admitting the
students
Use synonyms
 to the institute can help
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
motivate them to study
while
Linking Words
 competing with their classmates for higher academic performance. It will
also
Linking Words
 assist them in taking part in different activities
such
Linking Words
 as creativity, music , and dancing to work on their hobbies. Lots of higher schools organise a competition among the intraschool level for sports, a dance which can build self-confidence among the
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, group activities or assignments are organised by the teachers to enhance the development of skills
such
Linking Words
 as communication, leadership , teamwork and many more. Higher education
also
Linking Words
 provides an opportunity for the different yoga or meditation classes to the learners for their physical and mental growth. To summarise,
Although
Linking Words
 parents find it safe that their children should surround themselves in a safe environment by studying at home 90 per cent of
students
Use synonyms
 going to school have developed faster mental and physical growth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and clearly link these ideas to the overall argument. This will improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the question and discusses both perspectives, adding more relevant and specific examples would strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could benefit from being more concise and clearly summarizing the main points discussed in the body of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion on the advantages of both homeschooling and traditional schooling, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented in the essay are clear and logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: