Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Society
believe
that Change the verb form
believes
technology
advancements made Replace the word
technological
life
more
easier and better because of a wide range of advantages. Change the word
apply
While most
Correct word choice
Most
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
is
not in favor Correct subject-verb agreement
are
due to
a loss of important life
skills
. For me, technology
helps in different aspect
of Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
life
but it also
have
a downside in certain Change the verb form
has
aspect
of Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
life
.
On the one hand, while
Correct word choice
apply
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
a broad information
regarding the trends of what is happening Remove the article
broad information
a piece of broad information
around
. It Correct pronoun usage
around us
also
enhance
our knowledge, Change the verb form
enhances
skills
, capability
, and it Correct word choice
and capability
give
insights to many people. Change the verb form
gives
For example
, students can simply grasp information anytime and anywhere when they are seeking for
a question that needs an immediate answer.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, the argument that
reliance Add a missing verb
is that
to
Change preposition
on
technology
can lead to a degradation of basic skills
such
as navigation of places without using a map, manual calculation, or even social interactions without social mediation. There is also
a concern that younger
generation Correct article usage
the younger
tend
to depend on social media for solving problems that were previously navigated by using critical thinking and interpersonal Change the verb form
tends
skills
.
To conclude
, the balance
perspective Change the verb form
balanced
that
Add a missing verb
is that
while
technology
can lead to a person's lack of skills
, competency, capability, and enhancement, there is a need for a conscious effort to preserve and cultivate traditional skills
and ensure that technology
complements rather than replaces human capabilities.Submitted by maricelcapul27 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Clarifying your opinion more definitively in your essay would strengthen your argument. Consider stating more explicitly how technology impacts life positively and negatively.
Task Achievement
Integrating more varied and specific examples to support your points could elevate your essay. This helps in making your arguments both more concrete and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay benefits from a generally good structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more effectively guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on paragraph development. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. Aim for each paragraph to flow logically to the next, building your argument.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed both views of the issue, providing a balanced perspective in your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss each view, and a conclusion that summarizes your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!